Anonymous Answers


Life's tough, it's not easy. This is the place where you can ask us any question, get anything off your mind and tell us your story. We'll do our best to respond quickly.

Want to read questions that others have asked in the past? And our responses to those questions?

Click here to read past questions & answers!



Anonymous:

Who is/was Todd Becker? 

01/15/2020
tbftravis:
Dear Anonymous with questions about family,

I’m very sorry to hear about your difficult situation. It sounds like you have some tough dynamics with your family but, I am here to help as best I can! Please understand that I have very limited knowledge on your specific circumstance but with that in mind I will do my best to answer your questions!

First, I would encourage you to reach out to a bible believing church. As a child this is something that you should never have to handle on your own, and I think a Pastor or a close Christian adult friend can help you process and help you make the best decisions on how to deal with problems in your family. It is deeply important to make sure that you don’t continue to walk alone in this situation first and foremost! As well as helping and guiding you through this difficult time, a Christian adult would be far better situated to confront your Dad on the issues you have raised, rather than yourself. This is route I would advise you to take if at all possible.

However, if you absolutely cant find anyone and have exhausted all ways of making that first scenario work then if and only if you feel like you have a great relationship with your dad, and you are in a place that you can speak into his life, and have him receive it well, then I think there is a way in which you could bring these concerns up with your dad.

As you have mentioned that your dad is a Christian, I would like to draw your attention to God’s inspired word which is called the Bible. The Bible has a lot to say on family and how it should operate. It serves as an authority in our lives, it guides us to truth (that is the Truth above all other truth claims and is in line with how God has created people to function) and serves as a standard to which all people are called to live according to. It is therefore, the bible we should first look to help us in our efforts to restore a family back to a place where it is operating in a way that God has created and intended it to operate.

The first verse I would like to look at is Galatians 6:1 in the New Living Translation it says “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”  Notice how one should approach a person whom you believe is in sin, gently and humbly.

If you are to be at all effective in helping your dad, confronting him must be done with respect, in a gentle tone of voice. In no circumstance should you take it upon yourself to throw all the things your dad has ever done wrong in his face, with the tone of anger and hate. To do so would only make matters worse and make it that much more difficult to really get to the heart of the matter. The goal is to, as the verse above states, help that person back onto the right path. The right path means living a godly life, one that is surrendered to Christ living in step with the teachings of scripture, that is the Bible.

You would need to approach your dad in a way that is thought out. First you need to establish all the facts. For example you might ask your dad if he was the one who looked at this popular clothing store’s website. It is possible that you have missed some facts and may not have been him at all! If he did visit this site, then a great follow up question would be, why was he browsing that website.

Now, the Bible is very clear, anyone who looks at a women with lust in his heart has already committed adultery with that women in his heart (Matthew 5:28). If you have interpreted the facts of the circumstance correctly, and your father was looking at website with women dressed provocatively with lust in his heart then clearly, in accordance with scripture, your father would be in sin and would be just as guilty, in God’s standard, as someone who has physical acted in adultery. I point this out to help you understand it would be hypocritical of your dad to accuse your mother of adultery when in God’s standard he would be guilty of the very same act(not physically but as an issue of the heart behind the sin).

I would warn you that, people can get very defensive and angry when confronted on sin that has been hidden. You bringing this to light could get messy and difficult. This situation is hard enough as a kid to handle but also a child confronting a parent makes it far more awkward. However, living a life in complete surrender to Christ and His teaching is far better than any awkward situation or emotional pain that would arise with bringing this conversation up.

I truly believe that the Bible is God’s inspired word. It is historically accurate, documenting eyewitness accounts of life of Jesus Christ. It should be held with the highest authority in life above government, and above any parental authority. It’s the greatest book ever written and I would highly encourage you to read it for yourself and to follow all that Jesus has instructed in His word. If you do that, God will be most glorified in your life and he will supply all of your needs (emotional, physical, and spiritual). That is God’s word and that is His promise to all who submit and follow after Jesus as Savior and Lord of their life.

Like I have said, I think this would best come from a close Christian friend or Pastor so try to do your best to get a trust worthy adult involved. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you find a local church! I would love to know how this situation goes, so please feel free to follow up! This website is monitored daily. In addition please feel free to email me, I can promise your identity will not be shared in anyway. Hope to hear from you soon!

Your servant in Christ,
[email protected]


01/05/2020
Anonymous:

So, my dad accuses my mom of cheating all the time, but she never has. I recently found out that my dad was looking at some inappropriate pictures of women in revealing clothing  on a popular online shopping website. I found out on accident and it's very disturbing especially because my dad is a Christian. I'm still a kid so I don't know what to do or if I should confront my dad or tell my mom. Please give me some advise! Thanks! :(

01/02/2020
tbfaaron:
To anonymous asking about being Christan and famous,

Thanks for your question! 

Sometimes it's easy to equate someone's fruit with their position. Let me explain what I mean.

In the Bible, Jesus explains in the book of Matthew chapter 7 verses 16 - 20. 

"You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions."

So when we are looking at "famous people" we must not necessarily look at their status in our society and automatically judge them as one way or another, but look at their fruit. And just like a newborn baby isn't expected to eat steak on the first day or even the first year that it is born, we must take into account the "age" of a Christian as well. 

So in short, to answer your question, yes, it's possible for a famous person to be a Christian. Jesus came to save everyone! Famous or sheltered, it doesn't matter, it's not about your status in society - it's about the status of your heart in God's eyes. God can use and has used famous people, even in the Bible! King David was very famous at the time, and while he messed up, he also was called "a man after God's own heart". 

Salvation is open to anyone who is willing to put aside their own desires and follow Jesus.

I hope that answered your question, but if you are still curious or confused, please don't hesitate to email me at [email protected]


12/27/2019
Anonymous:

Is it possible to be a Christian, and be famous as well???????

12/26/2019
tbfemilyd:
Dear Anonymous asking about other lives,

Thank you so much for reaching out and asking us your question!

Great news! The Bible clearly answers your question. It has the answers for what happens when someone dies, where people go, and how someone goes to either Heaven or Hell. I want to share a little bit about what it says in regards to this, but I’d encourage you as well to look these verses up that I am sharing with you as well as look more into the Bible yourself for more on this topic of life and death. 

The book of Hebrews in the Bible talks a lot about this, below it states exactly what happens after someone dies.

“And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment,”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭9:27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

You see, people only die ONCE, not two or three or one hundred times. But once. We only get one life, and after that life ends, it says judgement comes. 

The moment after you die, you will be standing before a just and holy God as the judge for where you will spend eternity, or life after death. From there, you will either spend forever with God in Heaven or paying the price for your sins in hell. There are no second chances, and no option three of living again as a bumble bee. 

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

As it’s saying here, you will be answering to God for everything you’ve ever done. He’s seen all of your life—every thought and every action. He has seen your every sin (the things you’ve done that has broken His holy Commandments/Laws). 

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭6:23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

As I mentioned before, when you are judged and your sins have not been payed for, you will spend eternity in hell. 

But, even though you have sinned, God has made a way for you to spend eternity in Heaven! His free gift is Jesus!

“so also Christ was offered once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭9:28‬a NLT‬‬

Sin requires a payment and Jesus came to pay that price—death. He did that so that you could be forgiven and spend eternity with Him in Heaven. But, we have to first accept this free gift. Knowing that you are a sinner deserving of punishment for sin in hell, God offers you forgiveness if you repent(turn away from) your sin and turn to Him, making Jesus the Lord and in control of the one life you live here on earth. 

“If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭10:9-11‬ ‭NLT

We only get one life, and He is truly the only one worthy of knowing and living for, doing what He says, and trusting in His payment for confidence in where you will go when you die. 

I hope your question was answered and I pray this message you’ve read reaches your heart so that you can know what will happen to you after you die. Please feel free to email me with any thoughts you may have at

[email protected]


12/08/2019
Anonymous:

Does God ever give people another life? There're so many stories about people, including young children remembering "past lives" is that a real thing???

12/06/2019
tbfalex:

To Anonymous with encouragement,
 
Thank you so much for reaching out and letting us know! We greatly appreciate hearing from people like you who have been helped through our ministry.
 
We hope to see you at one of our events again when we are close by! Keep seeking Jesus and growing in your relationship with Him. He is the only one worthy of your praise and the only one worth living your life for!
 
This is one of my favorite verses that I’d like to share with you.
 
Colossians 2:6-7, “And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”
 
May God bless you! [email protected]


12/04/2019
tbfjoana:
To the anonymous who was helped, 

Thank you so much for sharing that with us! It is so encouraging to hear that we were able to help you! 

If we can help you in any other way or if you have more questions you can get ahold of me at 

[email protected] 
 


12/04/2019
Anonymous:

You guys are doing an amazing thing, helping everyone, me included. This site helped em in so many ways. Thank you!!!

12/02/2019
tbfaaron:
To anonymous asking about a homosexual relationship,

Thank you for your question! 

Because this is such a tough topic, I want to give a short answer and then if you would like to, continue in personal email format. 

As you said so well in your question, homosexuality is a sin according to the Bible (1Corinthians 6:9, Romans 1:18-32) and the Bible is clear on what we should do with sin (1 Corinthians 6:18, Matthew 5:29-30, Mark 9:43-48). There's no question in the Bible about what God requires of us when we become a follower of Him. (Matthew 7:16-20, Galatians 5:16-26, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). In Matthew 6:24, Jesus says, "No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money." Now, you can tell by the end of this verse that Jesus is talking about money here, but we would be foolish to think that we shouldn't apply this to every area of our lives. We can't serve both God and anything. It doesn't matter if it's money, lust, greed, pride, homosexuality, fear - you get the point.

If Jesus isn't Lord of all, then He isn't Lord at all.

When we decide to make Jesus the Lord of our life, I relate it to the picture of a landlord. When I sign a lease or rental agreement for a house, I am not agreeing to submit to the owner's lordship over just 'most' of the house. I'm agreeing to submit to his lordship over the ENTIRE house. If I told the landlord that I wasn't willing to include his rules for the basement or the bedroom or the kitchen, but the rest of the house was fine, he would look at me like I was a crazy person and would never agree to the lease. 

In the same way, when we commit our lives to Jesus, we give Him our whole life, not just 'most' of it. It will be hard at times, it will be uncomfortable at times, but whether we like it or not, it's what He has required of us.

Marriage in the Bible is defined as 'one man and one woman'. In every context that marriage is used, it is described as man and woman. I would venture to say that from that, you can conclude that God doesn't recognize a homosexual marriage as a marriage. Without being too direct here, because I know this can be a very sensitive topic, a homosexual marriage is a picture of our lives when we are in bondage to any sin. We are committed to it and, in a sense, married to it - until we divorce that sin and say I am committing myself FULLY to Jesus. Now, in no way am I saying that the other person in your relationship is a 'sin', but the act of homosexuality is clearly defined as a sin by the Bible and therefore we should divorce it.

Now logically, if we must "flee from sexual immorality" and do everything we can to avoid sin, continuing in a relationship that has no other option than to cause sin, there is no way that the relationship can continue. This may be a weak example, but if an alcoholic were to commit to being sober, but lived in a bar, we would think him to be pretty simple minded. 

I can assume that by the very question that you posed, you know the answer already. 

I know that this is a very hard thing to think about and process through and I am very proud of you for seeking the Truth even when it will inevitibly cause pain. I will be praying for you and I would also encourage you to find a Bible preaching church in your area that has someone that will be able to walk this out with you.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to email me at
[email protected]


12/02/2019
Anonymous:

Hi! I am in a married relationship of six years. However, it is a homosexual relationship. I found God about a month ago, and I know that homosexuality is a sin, and that my relationship with my spouse is sinful. However, I also know that God hates divorce. Should I explain the situation to my spouse and divorce them? Or not? I really don't know what to do.
 


12/01/2019
tbftravis:
Dear anonymous struggling with doubt,
Let me first apologize for the late response! It is my prayer that you find this answer promptly and it helps put a resolve in you to not give up the battle but to wage war on unbelief! With that said Mark 9 tells an incredible story of Jesus healing a young boy of a violent demon. Let’s read the story together.

17 One of the men in the crowd spoke up and said, “Teacher, I brought my son so you could heal him. He is possessed by an evil spirit that won’t let him talk. 18 And whenever this spirit seizes him, it throws him violently to the ground. Then he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast out the evil spirit, but they couldn’t do it.”19 Jesus said to them, “You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”20 So they brought the boy. But when the evil spirit saw Jesus, it threw the child into a violent convulsion, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the mouth.21 “How long has this been happening?” Jesus asked the boy’s father. He replied, “Since he was a little boy. 22 The spirit often throws him into the fire or into water, trying to kill him. Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.”23 “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”24 The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”25 When Jesus saw that the crowd of onlookers was growing, he rebuked the evil spirit. “Listen, you spirit that makes this boy unable to hear and speak,” he said. “I command you to come out of this child and never enter him again!”26 Then the spirit screamed and threw the boy into another violent convulsion and left him. The boy appeared to be dead. A murmur ran through the crowd as people said, “He’s dead.” 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and helped him to his feet, and he stood up.

I am not a father but I can only imagine the pain and torment that father felt in the countless years, watching his son be tormented, beaten, and thrown around all while only hopelessly watching from the sidelines. But God, rich in his mercy. Jesus found himself face to face with this family and hope sparked in the father. After such a long road of pain and suffering was his son finally going to find freedom? Surely Jesus of all people could help their situation. In desperation the man cries out “Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.”
Doubt is everywhere. It creeps in at the worst of times and settles deep in our hearts if we let it. How long had this man hoped with every fiber of his being for a miracle to see his son escape such pain and sorrow? And then Jesus responded “Anything is possible if a person believes.” There it was. With God anything is possible and now standing merely feet away was God himself. I wonder what it must have felt like to see Him, Jesus, standing RIGHT THERE, the miracle his son needed so badly, standing so close he could reach out and touch him. it’s amazing. It’s a wonderful thought, one that fills me with hope and joy of Heaven, one day I will see Jesus and stand with Him face to face.

Without hesitation the man exclaims, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” So simple, so raw! Raw faith combined with the confession that he needed Christ to attain the far more perfect faith he craved.
I do not know what you are going through or what is holding you back, whether it is sin, or pain, or lies from the enemy. Whatever the case. Jesus is the answer. Run to Him. Trust in Him. Throw yourself at His mercy. It is holy brokenness, laying aside everything, EVERTHING, and with all of your energy, everything you have; a full out sprint to the thrown of God. It is being real with God, being like the father we just read about, exclaiming “I do believe, but Jesus help my unbelief!”

While unbelief isn’t necessary sin, sin is close behind. Sin can be an act of doing something God has forbidden or not doing something God has instructed.  Romans 14:23 is very clear. Anything that does not come from faith is sin. So, you must ask yourself, what things am I doing because of my unbelief, or what things has God commanded that I am not doing because of my unbelief. Both are sinful and both are enemies of your faith in Christ.

Lastly, I want to encourage you to find time to get into God’s word. Jesus is the only one who can help you battle your unbelief and it all starts with Him. Spend time with Him, pray, surround yourself with Godly people, attend a bible believing church faithfully. These are all practical tools God has given us as believers to help us, encourage us, to keep us pressing on, never giving up, until we meet Jesus face to face.
If you have any questions please feel free to email me at,
[email protected]


11/18/2019
tbfemilyd:
To the anonymous who is in a relationship wanting to help,
(My name is Emily, one of our STINT interns, Kirsten, is here to help you with your question: her response is below):
 
I am very sorry to hear about what he is going through!!! 

I really encourage you to be bold in this situation. God put you in his path for a purpose and you have the opportunity to share the hope that you have in Christ with him. There is so much more beyond this life!! God wants our hearts so badly and it hurts Him to see people harming themselves. 

The enemy is attacking him right now, but God has the power to bring him out of that pain if he is willing to surrender his life to God. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 

The devil is doing whatever he can to make your boyfriend feel defeated. Satan came to ruin people and take hope away from us; but God can give us eternal life only through Him. He cares about us so much, but we are the ones who won’t even let Him in to help us. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28-29
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

The Lord will give us strength and comfort in hard times when we make a commitment to surrender our lives to Him. I encourage you to share these verses I mentioned with him so that he might see the light that is available to his life.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths  for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:1-6

I hope this helped you on knowing what to say or what verses you can show him!

If you have any other questions feel free to email me at

[email protected]
 


11/18/2019
tbfaaron:
To Anonymous asking about masturbation:

First I just want to thank you for your question. As a new Christian, it's super important that we continue to seek what God wants us to do in every situation!

To answer your question let's go to scripture. 

1 Corinthians 6:18 - 20 says, "​Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

Now when you read this, a first thought might be, "What does 'sexual immorality' mean? To know this, let's let the Bible define the Bible. We have to know what the standard for being sexually moral (or right) is so that we can know what would be called 'immoral' (or wrong). So again, let's look to scripture.

Jesus says in Matthew 5, "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  Jesus 'upped the ante' so to speak, and took the focus off of the physical act of sex and made it about our heart. When we apply this standard to our lives, it's hard to see any sexual act outside of biblical marriage as permissible. 

As a result, when we read verses like the one above in 1 Corinthians 6 that says to 'flee from sexual immorality', I think it's clear that masturbation is not okay. Jesus wasn't excusing or dismissing any physical sexual act, but only illustrating that it doesn't stop there. Masturbation is a physical act that induces thoughts and desires - or even places them into the heart - that Jesus defines as adultery.

I hope this answers your question. If you have any other questions or would like more clarification, please let me know and you can email me at [email protected]


11/18/2019
Anonymous:

As an adult man, is it okay to masturbate as a christian? (I'm a new Christian, if that helps.)

 


11/17/2019
Anonymous:

I keep doubting my faith, like thinking I'm not a trues Christian. How can I stop? And is it a sin, since it's almost the same as not trusting in God?
 


11/14/2019
Anonymous:

I have this relationship ive been in for the last two months he doesn't believe in God and hes cutting himself. what can I do to help him? 

11/14/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who can barely handle their emotions:

I'm so sorry that you are going through this hard time!!

I want to encourage you to reach out to local people! It's so important to talk to people face to face when you're going through hard times. Help through social media/internet can only take you so far.  Reach out to a local counselor, a local pastor, a local teacher, a trusted older adult. I know if you reach out and ask to meet with someone like that, they will love to sit down with you and talk through things with you to help you!

It's so important to surround ourselves with trusted people who will help us when we're going through a hard time.  Stay away from negative people, and surround yourselves with those who will speak hope, truth and life to you.

I also want to encourage you to read your Bible! Jesus is our only true HOPE and He will never leave us or let us down.

Deuteronomy 31:8 says:
"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Isaiah 41:10-13 says:
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

1 Peter 5:7 says:
"Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

Hebrews 13:6 says:
"So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

Philippians 4:6-7 says:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

So I encourage you to do this: reach out to a trusted adult, a pastor, counselor, teacher, etc.
Start reading your Bible in the book of Psalms. Read one a day.
Listen to worship music. Surround yourself with positive people. Stay away from sad/negative music. Feed yourself with true things that give hope. Email me anytime! [email protected]


 


11/14/2019
Anonymous:

I can barely handle all my emotions, my heart is just heavy and I am losing myself 

11/13/2019
tbfjoana:
To the anonymous who lost a friend, 

    Im so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and his wife. As you said this will be a difficult road ahead. But know that  the Lord is closed to those who mourn, Matthew 5:4, “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
    Sometimes pain during difficult situations can overcome us and we start looking for comfort and hope in people or other things. I would encourage to look for hope in Jesus during this time He is the only one who can give true hope and comfort. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” This process will be difficult but we need to hold close to God, Philippians 4:7 says, “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
    What is that look like in your life right now? Is God the one your holding on to? Is He where your peace and comfort is coming from? I am deeply sorry for what you’re going through and I hope this was of some help. Know that if you need someone to talk to you can email me at 

[email protected]


11/12/2019
Anonymous:

I just lost a dear friend in a tragic car accident and I know him and his wife for so many years. The morning I heard, my heart shattered into pieces. He was such a faithful man, he loved everyone around him. I'm barely handling all my emotions. It's going to be very difficult and enduring this trial. 

11/11/2019
Anonymous:

I just lost a dear friend in a tragic car accident and I know him and his wife for so many years. The morning I heard, my heart shattered into pieces. He was such a faithful man, he loved everyone around him. I'm barely handling all my emotions. It's going to be very difficult and enduring this trial. 

11/11/2019
tbfalex:
To anonymous wondering about her homosexual friend,
 
First of all, thank you for reaching out. This question is a very important one that needs to be answered. I am going to try to answer this in a very thorough but simple way. Of course, as Christians, we must turn to the Bible in order to see how we should handle these kinds of situations.
 
I also have a few questions I need you to answer as we look through these Bible verses.
 
Does your friend claim to be a Christian?
 
Does your friend boast about her sin, or is she wanting to be free from it?
 
Let’s go through a few Bible verses.
 
THIS IS WHAT TO DO IF SHE DOES NOT CLAIM TO BE A CHRISTIAN:
 
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 NLT, “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people – none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.”
 
So, why do we as Christians not approve of people being homosexual? Is it because we are “homophobic?” Of course not! It’s the same reason we don’t approve of people being drunkards or murderers or thieves or rapists. It’s because we know that based on their actions; they will not inherit eternal life, but instead go to hell. We care about their eternity too much not to warn them! So you must keep that in mind with your friend. You have to communicate to her that you care deeply about her and because you do, you have to simply show her what the Bible says. Show her this verse and explain to her that you are warning her because you care about her.
 
Important: Homosexuality is not a worse sin than a boyfriend and girlfriend having sex before marriage or someone being addicted to pornography. Therefore, we must treat all sexual sin the same. We must warn those who are living in them that they must STOP, TURN FROM THEM, and SURRENDER THEIR LIVES TO JESUS.
 
What I just stated above is for those who DO NOT claim to be Christians. We must be kind to them and love them, while constantly being bold and pointing them to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
 
THIS IS WHAT TO DO IF SHE DOES CLAIM TO BE A CHRISTIAN:
 
1 Corinthians 5:9-13, “ When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin.  But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that.  I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”
 
So, does your friend claim to be a Christian? If so, you must be prepared to no longer associate with her. But do you just suddenly stop talking to her? No. Not associating with her comes after you are able to have a conversation with her and see if she is willing to turn from her sin or not. Talk to her about 1 Corinthians 6:9-13 and tell her that you care about her eternity and because of that you need her to know how serious sin is. Tell her that you want her to turn from her sins and come back to God. Tell her that it’s not too late, but she needs to make a choice to turn from her homosexuality and turn back to Jesus.
1 Corinthians 6:11 says, “Some of you were once like that (homosexuals, drunkards, abusive, etc.). But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
 
No matter if she claims to be a Christian or not, show her these verses (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) and tell her that she CAN BE FORGIVEN and set free from this sin, if she will call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Which means, to surrender her life to Jesus and stop following her own sinful ways.
 
However, to be clear, if she claims to be a Christian and after this conversation is not willing to turn from her sin, then, based on scripture, you must be ready to no longer associate with her. Tell her that you will always be there for her when she is ready to turn back to God, but until she does that, you are no longer able to be friends with her. This is in hopes that someday she will come back to God and be saved because you loved her enough to show her how serious her sin is.
 
If she is ready to turn from her sin and come back to God, then help her commit or recommit her life back to Jesus. Simply pray with her and have her confess her sins to God and He will forgive her. (1 John 1:9) Then I would encourage you to have her talk with a mature Christian woman in your church who can help keep her accountable so she doesn’t fall back into that sin again.
 
If she doesn’t claim to be a Christian, then, I don’t think it’s necessary to stop being friends with her. However, I would no longer be a close friend with her. We need to first be a Christian witness to unbelievers. 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns that, “Bad company corrupts good character.” You have to be careful whom you associate with, as they will always influence you, for good or bad. People who aren’t Christians will always try to get you to compromise on your Christian witness and start sinning with them.
 
Jesus has called us to reach out to the lost, but He is very clear that as soon as you claim to be a Christian you better be living like one.
 
I hope this all makes sense. I know this is a lot to think about and put into practice, so if you have any other questions or need clarification, please feel free to email me directly at [email protected]


11/06/2019
Anonymous:

Hi! I have a really good friend, we share lots of interests, and have even called it "fate" that we met. But, she just came out to me as being homosexual. I am a Christian, and I know that what she is doing is sinful, and that it goes completely against everything God says. Do I stay friends with her? Do I tell her we can't be friends? What do I do and how can I not come across ad rude or "homophobic"? We see each other everyday at school, so I don't know what to do. Thank you! :)

11/05/2019