Anonymous Answers


Life's tough, it's not easy. This is the place where you can ask us any question, get anything off your mind and tell us your story. We'll do our best to respond quickly.

Want to read questions that others have asked in the past? And our responses to those questions?

Click here to read past questions & answers!



tbfaaron:
Dear anonymous who is struggling with life,

I’m so sorry to hear that you are having a tough time right now. That can be a really hard season to go through. Those times are not uncommon to anyone. Many think that using drugs will help or being a people pleaser would numb the pain. Even for those that grow up in the church, can feel so cold inside. We look consistently to all sorts of things to give us meaning, but will never find it. We wonder why we're hopeless. It's not just because we are searching in the wrong place, but also because sin separates us from God. Jesus says it this way in Matthew 7:13-14

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

The paths we chose for ourselves will usually seem lonely and dark. We define our lives on how well we perform or how many people like us or what we can achieve. Often times we push ourselves to be the best athlete, son, friend, etc. Anything less and thoughts creep in of doubt, self-anger, and apathy. When we boil it down, this lifestyle is a lifestyle of sin because when we worry about other people or even ourselves more than God, He's not number 1 in our lives and as a result we turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. to either numb us so we don't feel pain - which doesn't ever ultimately work - or just distract us from our life apart from God. The Bible is clear what happens when our lives are full of sin.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 6:23

The Bible describes sin is missing God’s standard, which is perfection. Because God is a perfect judge and His standard is perfection, there is a punishment for sin, and it is called hell. When we miss God’s standard of perfection by sinning, that means that we earn or deserve hell. And that’s what wages means: something you earn. So we earn eternal separation from God. That’s why we look, but never find. Trying our hardest to live up to a standard we can never live up to. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17

When we are able, by the power of Christ and the Holy Spirit, to lay our thoughts, actions, and sins at the foot of the cross of Jesus and let him transform us we are then a new creation. 

Now after we give our life to Christ we will still have those thoughts from time to time, but day by day if we press into Him, He will keep molding and chiseling away until those thoughts were looking to Christ for our hope. Christ will show you that those old thoughts and habits are from Satan himself and that they are nothing but lies. Jesus doesn’t say those things about us and He we shouldn't be looking anywhere else but Him for our identity anyway. 


My question to you would be where is your hope? Is it in Christ or is it in the world? You will always be looking for the answer if your hope is in relationships, drugs, alcohol, people, anything of this world.

I want to encourage you to turn your eyes from around you and about you and instead, turn them to Jesus who doesn’t want you to suffer.

If you have any more questions about this or any other thoughts please feel free to email me at aaron@toddbecker.org


02/08/2019
Anonymous:

I been thinking so much lately, and I really want to disappear off the face of this Earth. Y’all have recently talked to me, but I feel like I’m losing everything and everyone important to me and I am also losing myself. What do I do? I can’t handle it anymore.

02/07/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous whose life is going downhill:

I am so sorry that it has taken us a while to respond to you!  Our team had a long trip this week! I am so glad that you were brave enough to post your question.

I don't know your situation, or the story behind your negative thoughts, or which triggers you get. But I do want you to know that you are not alone. I encourage you to talk to a local counselor, trusted adult, or youth leader or pastor in your community. You will need continued local support!

I also want to encourage you to order Keith's "I Know" book off this website. You can get it completely for free, and I want to challenge you to read the first 5 chapters as soon as possible. The antidote to negative thoughts is Jesus. He will be the One that will help you break through the negative thought cycle. In order to know how to start fresh, to begin a relationship with Jesus, I encourage you to check out Keith's "I Know" book. 

The Bible does talk a lot about thoughts!

Philippians 4:8-9 says:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Isaiah 26:3 says:
You (God) keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you(God).

2 Timothy 1:7 says:
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

These are just a few verses of many that the Bible has to say on this topic. If you'd like to know more about how to apply Biblical truths to your situation, please email me!  Applying Biblical truths will change the way you think...it will set you free from being a slave to negative thoughts. 

Also, I would love to talk to you more about this and answer more specific questions you might have. You can email me anytime, and if I can't help you, I will point you to a team member that can! My email is becca@toddbecker.org


01/31/2019
Anonymous:

My life has been going downhill lately, I been thinking negative thoughts. I get triggers 

01/29/2019
tbfemilyd:
Dear Anonymous, 
 
I appreciate you reaching out to us with your question! Also, I am so sorry it took a few days to answer you.  It is a great question that many have asked, and the Bible actually answers it! The passage is found in Romans chapter 9. This is kind of a long one, so bear with me!
 
18 So you see, God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen.19 Well then, you might say, “Why does God blame people for not responding? Haven’t they simply done what he makes them do?”
So, it seems you are asking exactly what verse 19 asks. You are absolutely right that the reality is that some will not choose to follow Jesus and will end up in hell and he knew that people would not choose Him. Let’s keep reading…
20 No, don’t say that. Who are you, a mere human being, to argue with God? Should the thing that was created say to the one who created it, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 When a potter makes jars out of clay, doesn’t he have a right to use the same lump of clay to make one jar for decoration and another to throw garbage into? 22 In the same way, even though God has the right to show his anger and his power, he is very patient with those on whom his anger falls, who are destined for destruction.

 
You are also very right in saying that you, a human, just like everyone else cannot possibly understand all of who God is. This verse is saying that God is the potter and we are the clay and He has the power, authority, and the right to do with us whatever He wishes. We see in Scripture that He chose to make us with free will—or the right to choose how we live, because He loves us so much and wants to be loved by us, not just robots who can’t make their own decisions. And yes, it is true, He knew we would fall into sin—but through that He wants to show you His love through Jesus.
 
21 For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin,[a] so that we could be made right with God through Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
 
Just like we can’t fully understand some of the questions you are asking, we also cannot completely the amazing love and grace that He showed for us by dying on the cross. He knew we would sin, but He also knew that He would ultimately pay the penalty for it for us so that we could be saved and know Him!
 
12 But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. (John 1:12)
 
At the end of the day, God doesn’t ask us to understand everything, but He does command to be free of the penalty of hell, we are to believe and accept Him as our Lord, and when we do that He gives us the right to be His children! And that is the greatest gift of all—more than we could ever ask for!
 
I hope this makes sense for you! If you would like to go into this conversation further with me, please email me at
 
emilyd@toddbecker.org


01/22/2019
Anonymous:

Hi there, thank you for this site. I have an honest question I’ve been struggling for a long time...
Why did God create human when He knew human would fall into sin? Yes, He sent Jesus to die for us and He wants all to be saved. But it’s a reality that some did not and will not choose Jesus. Is it really worth it to create mankind when He knows some will not choose Him and go to hell forever? While those who choose Him will still have to live in a fallen and very broken world for a while. I know i will never understand God, but in my limited mind, I honestly think it would have been better if mankind was never created in the first place... no one will be in hell, no suffering, and God will still be a perfect God whether He has human worship or not...
Thank you


01/18/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who is struggling with memories of mom being abused:

I am so, so sorry that you experienced this, and that you are now having the horrible memories haunt you!  My heart breaks for you! 

I really want to encourage you to talk to a trusted adult in your community about this. Even a counselor would be ideal. There are a lot of things that you need to process through...so much hurt has got to be bottled up inside of you. Meeting with a trusted, local adult weekly would help you so much! I want to encouarge you to ask an adult to meet with you! That takes bravery, but I know that the adult would love to meet with you, and it will be the first step to emotional healing for you!

I also want you to know that Jesus loves you so deeply. 
Hebrews 13:6 says:
So we can say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper,
    so I will have no fear.
    What can mere people do to me?”

Psalm 56:8 says:
You (God) keep track of all my sorrows.[a]
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.

Jesus cares so deeply for you, and  so I encourage you to ask Him to help you shift your thoughts when those bad memories come. Find things to do when those bad thoughts come. Listen to Christian music, pray and read your Bible. Shift your focus off of the bad, and onto the good.

I really want to encourage you to find a trustd adult to talk this through with! It will help you so much!

If you have any further questions, please do feel free to email me! I would love to hear from you!
becca@toddbecker.org


01/10/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who wants to stay on the narrow path:

Thank you for your courage in writing! I am so excited to hear of your desire to stay on the narrow path.

Here are some practical ways to stay on the narrow path.
1. Keep getting close to Jesus. He loves you so much, and wants a relationship with you!
You can get closer to Him by reading your Bible each day, talking to God, and finding a BIble Study, Youth Group or church that will help encourage you in your walk with Jesus.
2. Get rid of the things in your life that hold you back! Delete the music that is a negative influence. Don't go places with your firends where you know you will be tempted. Plan other things that will keep you away from those negative temptations and bad choices. For example, if you know that friends will invite you to party on Friday night, make plans to do something else that night!
Hebrews 12:1 says:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."
If you'd like to learn more about staying on the narrow path, please feel free to order Keith's "I Know" book off this website. It's free for students!
Also, talk to a trusted adult in your community who you know is  on the narrow path. Ask them to hold you accountable (ask you questions about how you are doing on the narrow path). 
Feel free to email me anytime if you have any specifc questions!
becca@toddbecker.org

 


01/10/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who is scared about losing the person you love:
My heart goes out to you, and I believe many of us if we are honest have faced this fear. Have I pushed the person I love too far?
Time is always so key! Time will tell! Time will tell that person whether or not your change truly is lasting. TIme will tell that person that you are serious. 
Give that person space right now. You can't force someone to trust you. Just live your life in a changed way. Don't go back to who you were.
Ultimately, the Person you need more than anyone else is Jesus! He is always there for you, and He wants a relationship with you. You are not too far gone for Him. Romans 5:8 says: But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
Jesus does desire a relationship with you, and actually He is the one who will help you change, and stay a new person, and not go back to your past. If you'd like to talk more about starting a relationship with Jesus, I would love to talk with you! You can email me anytime at: becca@toddbecker.org
 


01/10/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who is struggling with questions about sexuality:
Thank you for your courage in posting, and for your quest to know what to do. 
I want to encourage you to do one of two things:
1. First, because of the sensitive nature of your question, I want to encourage you to find a trusted adult, counselor or teacher in your community.  It helps to have someone local because they can help you through it on an on-going basis.
2. Secondly, I am here for you. If you have questions you would like to specifically ask me, you can email me.
I know that it takes courage to talk to someone face to face, but I really want to encourage you to talk to a trusted adult in your local community. It will feel so good to be able to verbally talk it through with someone, and a local person would be able to more of an ongoing support. 
If you would like to reach out to me, my email is becca@toddbecker.org


01/10/2019
Anonymous:

How do I get over it?  I watch my mom get beat by my step dad about 2 years ago and I keep replaying it in my head and I can't get over it and I don't know what to do anymore.

01/10/2019
Anonymous:

If you are being pulled back by the chains how do you stay on the narrow path?

01/10/2019
Anonymous:

Can I fix a trust I've broken, I'm scared to lose the person I love. He doesn't believe I changed and chose the right path.

01/09/2019
Anonymous:

I think I'm bisexual, but my religion would never approve of it. I'm a female, and though I've had boyfriends, I am attracted to a girl who I've known for more than 10 years. I'm a muslim, by the way, and in Islam, you're not allowed to be LGBTQ++. I don't know what I should do. I love her, but I also love my family.

01/09/2019
tbfaaron:
To: Anonymous with questions about a double life,

Hey, I'm so sorry about the fact that we've taken so long to answer your question! It is still important that we talk through the questions that you have. I know this is a long response, but stick with me, it is important. 

I want to address a few things on here and then if you have more questions, I will give my email at the end.

I'm really glad to hear that you've grown up in the church and that you have been to all the camps and youth group events and so on. That gives you a good foundation to build off of. You seem to have a reverence and respect for God's Word and for who He is and that is key. The conviction that you have described and even the conviction that caused you to write this post is a sign of a very good thing. Unless we are convicted that our sin is wrong, we will never stop. We may stop for a while because we got caught or because we feel judged, but like you've experienced, there will always be times when we are alone and 'in the dark' and our sinful desires will take over. The Bible actually talks about this in 2 Corinthians 7:10. It says, "For the kind of sorrow that God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There's no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death." 

There's a lot in this verse that we could break down, but I want to focus on the word "sorrow". This verse talks about 2 kinds - 'Godlly sorrow' and 'worldly sorrow'. 

Worldly sorrow, like the verse says, will lack repentance (turning from your sin) and ultimately will lead you to Hell. We can see in the verses below, that if we are living in our sin (or living with worldly sorrow), whether it's lying, cheating, homosexuality, gluttony, sex outside of marriage, drunkenness, etc., we will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19 - 21 says, "​When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God." You can notice that I highlighted "living that sort of life". There is an obvious difference for anyone who is living in sin and who stumbles in sin.

You can relate it to exercise. I'm sure you've known someone that decided that they were going to change the way they live and start eating healthy and exercise. You can tell after about 2 or 3 weeks if this person is serious. If this person is serious, they will be strict about exercising and meals. They will do everything in their power to stay in that routine because they don't want to miss a day. Sure there will be days that things come up and they couldn't make it to the gym or for whatever reason they had to eat something outside of their plan, but their goal and desire is to not ever do that. They are not ok with it. If they are serious about their goal, they will hate it that they messed up and might plan ahead next time so make sure that doesn't happen again. 

When you have Godly sorrow, the Bible says that you no longer want to do the things you used to do. Ephesians 4:21-24 says, "​Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy."'

Godly sorrow will urge us to live like Christ - which is a new nature for us. We are not naturally going to turn from the immediate gratification of sin. We have to look to Jesus constantly to give us that new nature. Philippians 2:13 says, "God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him."  Look to Him for the power as well as the desire. 1 Corinthians 6 tells us to 'flee' from sexual sin. Get as far away from this stuff as you can. We seem to have it in our mind that having the internet at the tip of our fingers, on our smartphone or on our tv is a must nowdays, but the question comes down to, would you rather have accessibility to the world through internet, or accessibilty to Heaven through Jesus? We can't love both the things of the world and Jesus.

Sometimes it takes extreme thinking to get us closer to God. In Matthew 5, Jesus says something that sounds very extreme, “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." 

Jesus is taking this to the extreme in 2 ways. First, He is making the statement that sin isn't just about the physical action, but about where your heart is at. Second, they obviously did not have internet, smartphones, even printed magazines back then, so Jesus is telling us to do whatever it takes to get rid of the things that causes us to sin. So I will challenge you with the same thing. Do whatever it takes to get rid of the thing that is causing your sin. Let me put what Jesus said in today's terms - 'If your smartphone, causes you to sin, throw it away. It's better for you to lose $1000 dollar phone than for your whole body to be thrown into hell for eternity.'

If you want to fight these urges you have, and it sounds like you do, you have to be consistently in the Word, reading the Bible, going to church, listening to Christian music, shielding your eyes from things like bad movies and websites. It is an everyday, every hour, sometimes every minute battle. We can't do it alone. You need to surround yourself and fill your heart and mind with Jesus and the things of Heaven. 

Lastly, you mentioned that you don't want anyone close to you to know about your struggles. I would be very careful with that thinking. Satan wants to keep us in a place that we are ashamed of our sin and our struggles because then we will never be freed from them. Sexual sin is a sin that a majority of the time happens in the dark and away from other people. If you do not let someone close to you keep you accountable it will be nearly impossible to break free from it. The best person to look for is someone who, first and foremost, loves the Lord and you can see it by the way they live, and someone that loves you and isn't afraid to tell you something that might not be fun to hear. The worst person for this situation is someone who says that they Love the Lord, but doesn't show it through their actions. 

This will be the hardest step finding someone to hold you accountable in such a personal sin, but I promise you, it is absolutely necessary.

I hope that all this has made sense and that you were able to follow my thought process. Since this response is pretty long, I would screenshot it, or copy it onto your computer or however you can to look up these verses and really look into this. The way this site works, the answer will fall off after a while because of other questions being asked. You had some great questions and if there are any that you don't feel I answered, I promise that was not my goal, but feel free to ask me them again through email. I know that I don't know your name, but I will definitely be praying for you.

Thank you so much for your question, if you have more questions or want to talk about this deeper, please email me at aaron@toddbecker.org


12/21/2018
tbfmatt:
Death is always a struggle to cope with, no matter what the age or circumstances. But the truth of it is, tragedy and death are inevitable. 100% of all humans die. 

Because of the sickness we as humans suffer from called sin (rebelling against God’s law called the 10 commandments.) the world has death chaos and destruction. We brought it on ourselves. The order that God intended for life is broken and things on earth are a mess. It talks about all of this in the first few pages in the book of the Bible called Genesis. 

God didn’t create death or want people to die. The death of your relative is very painful because death is a distortion of what Gods plan was for us in the very beginning. 

 So, one of the ways  to cope with death is by seeking out the truth on what happens to us after we die. Because of our rebellion against Gods law and His plan we all deserve eternal death, or what is called in the Bible, hell. (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23)

When Jesus walked the earth 2,000 years ago he lived in perfect obedience to God, he never sinned, he never broke the law of God. He was the only man to ever do that! when he was killed on the cross he paid with his life what you and I deserved, which was death. After being dead and buried for 3 days God raised him back to life! Death couldn’t keep Jesus down in the grave! 1 Peter 2:22

That same power that rose Jesus from the dead and the same power that allowed him to  live a life in obedience to God can be yours too. Jesus paid with His life so that we could be made right with God! so we could base our lives around giving God the glory and honor and praise that He deserves instead of making our lives just about us! 

When you decide to follow Jesus and say no to your old sin and your old way of life and you identify yourself with Christ, and allow that power that raised Jesus from the dead empower you to do what he asks you to do. You become a child of God. And as a child of God death is but a brief moment, for when we die on this earth, eternal life with God will have just begun! 

I have hope for my eternal life with God I know I am a child of God I have given Christ control of my life. Not because I feel like I’m a child of God, but because I know that according to God’s word (the Bible) says so. My life looks different because Jesus runs my life not me.

Have you considered where you will go when you die? If you haven't, I really encourage you to read Romans 3:20-26. This scripture gives a clear outline on how you can know you are right with God and enter in to a relationship with Jesus. going to Heaven, and not Hell (which is really the default destination for mankind). 

I hope this helps with your question. I'd be happy to help you more with this. Feel free to email me anytime! matt@toddbecker.org


12/21/2018
Anonymous:

How do I get over a death in the family

12/20/2018
Anonymous:

Hi, I am a 19 year old young man. I am currently a freshman in college. I have grown up in a Christian home and have been saved ever since I was young. I have a good family, strong friends, and a girlfriend.
Ever since I was around 12, I have been living a sort of double life. On one side I am a good Christian, I know God, I go to Christian retreats, camps, church, youth group, etc. But, behind closed doors I struggle a lot with pornography and my sexuality. I know that both are wrong, and I have been able to pull myself away from them, but I keep falling back. I know that if I get closer to God I can stop the pornography problem, especially with some support. The issue comes with my attraction to the same-sex, which I know has the same solution, but it seems much harder to shake. Internally I know that I am bisexual, but I want to stop. I need some support and accountablitiy, but I don't have anyone I can go to in my communitiy. It isn't a struggle I want to have anyone close to me know about, so I don't know where to turn to. 
At college I have both grown closer to God, and yet struggled even more with the same things.
So I guess I am asking if any of you can be that for me, or at least send some prayer my way. It's time to change, and I just need somebody to know that and hold me to it. 


12/18/2018
tbfbecca:

To Anonymous asking about God's plans for their life:
 
I am so sorry that we have not gotten you answered before now! I am glad that you took the time to ask that very heavy question. Many, many people have asked your same question. And it can be very hard to understand.
 
Jeremiah 29:11-14a says: "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you," says the Lord.
 
I am so, so sorry to hear about your mother and brother. The tragic thing about life here on earth is that we live in a fallen world. When Adam and Eve sinned, sin came into the perfect world that God made, and it became a world full of hurt, heartache and pain.  That was never God's intention. God's intention was that the world would be a perfect place with no sin. But when Adam and Eve chose to disobey God, God's first plan was destroyed. So that's why God chose to send His Son Jesus, to save us from this life of sin, so that someday we could go somewhere perfect: HEAVEN.  In this world, horrible things will happen to good people (like your mother and brother). We can't understand that, and we never will here on earth. But someone once said that this life is just a dressing room for eternity (heaven or hell). This life is not all there is. God's heart is that everyone would live in heaven with Him someday. But God gave people a choice…He doesn't make everyone follow Him. Some people choose wrong things (like drink and kill other innocent people).
 
God's heart breaks when bad things happen. But God has not made robots, He has given everyone free will, and sometime other's free will does harm innocent people. That is part of the fallen world we live in today because of Adam and Eve's sin. But that was never God's heart. God's heart was for His people to live in paradise, but when Adam and Eve destroyed that by their sin, God knew He could make a way for anyone that choose to, to live in Heaven (the absolute perfect Paradise) with Him when they die.  God made a way through His Son Jesus' death on the cross.  Every single one of us have sinned (and broken God's plan for our lives) but God has made a way for us to experience new life!  God's heart is that no one would burn someday, but experience life forever with Him in heaven. But our sin keeps us out of heaven. We need a Savior…someone to save us from our sins so that we can be made new and experience Paradise (Heaven…God's perfect plan) when we die. That Savior is Jesus. He died for you! If you choose to believe that Jesus is the only way to heaven, that He died to forgive your sins, and choose to follow Him, you will be made new. Your sins will be forgiven, and God's perfect plan for your life (heaven) will happen!!
 
So, in answer to your question…YES, God does have a plan for our lives. But His plan goes so much deeper than just life here on earth. When we have a bad life here on earth, we think that God hasn't kept His promise. But really, His plan for us is heaven if we choose it!! This life here on earth is so short, and is not the ultimate goal. The goal is eternity with God in heaven! That is His plan for each person. But He gave each of us free will to choose that!
 
I encourage you to order Keith's "I Know" book off this website. It's free for all students. Read the first five chapters. It will really explain how you can choose God's plan for your life…heaven forever with him, instead of burning, like you mentioned.
 
Please feel free to email me if you have more questions! My email is becca@toddbecker.org


12/13/2018
Anonymous:

Hello, I am a student from one of your more recent trips, and I just have a few questions that need answered. Keith was saying that before we were born, God planned out every moment in our lives, and how He knows us by name. If God planned out my life, did He conciously plan for me to lose my brother and mother to a drunk in a street? Does God just want to see the world burn, and am I going to burn with it?

12/10/2018
tbfjoana:
To Anonymous who lost a friend, 

Wow, it seems that you are going through a lot lately. I am really sorry for you, and I really appreciate you reaching out to us! I feel like it would be better if you reach out to me on my email that way I can answer your questions more in detail. 

You can email me at joana@toddbecker.org


12/03/2018
tbfaaron:
To Anonymous with strict parents,

Sorry about the slow response, but I want to answer your question still.

When we "live in the moment" we have to choose the type of actions we are going to do. Whether your choice is  partying, drinking or even attending church to grow closer to God, those actions will either honor the Lord or they  will dishonor Him.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:10, "For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body."

Notice in that verse that it does not say  "Your parents must stand before Christ to be judged for you."  It says that you will be judged for the good or evil things you choose to do. God is a fair judge. Just because you want to live in the moment and take chances does not mean that you will be free from the day of judgement. Each of us will stand before the Lord for our own actions. You can still honor and respect your parents and what they want for you, but when the day of judgement comes you will have to stand before God.

I think a big question that you might want to ask yourself is, "Why do I want to do these things?" Are you longing to be like everyone else? Are you wanting to fit in? Are you wanting to rebel?

The Bible also talks about these things clearly when it says in Romans 12, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." God does not want us to be 'taking chances and making mistakes' just to be like what the world says we should be. He calls us to be Holy which in simplicity means being perfect. 1 Peter 1 says, "You must be holy because I am holy."  Obviously, we can't be perfect and God knows that we aren't perfect and that's why He sent Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins. If we choose to follow Christ, we are called to a way of living that is very different than the world. So rather than 'taking chances and making mistakes and experiencing new things that the world has to offer', we should be trying as hard as we can to live a life that takes us away from 'the line' of sin. 

At the end of the day, choosing to follow Christ is your choice. This decision is not something you choose to do one time then never revisit it. It's hard. It will change your life if you take it seriously. Jesus will change your life if you take Him seriously. It's a daily decision.

I hope that helps.  

If you have any questions at all please email me at
aaron@toddbecker.org


12/03/2018
Anonymous:

Hi! I'm the same student who talked about losing my friend over a guy. We've stopped talking, But I've got another problem. I absolutely suck at math and it's one of the things my family want me to pursue, but that's not what I want. I'm in high school right now so I need to pass math, but at the moment my average went from an 82 to a 64! All because of one test. So I got my phone taken away and now I've realized that all because I'm not going to be pursuing a career with math, doesnt mean I can do bad in it. Now, I think I have depression, to put it in the simplest way. I hate seeing people, stopped talking to all my friends and teachers, barely make contact with my family anymore, and it's all over a boy. I loved him and he left me because he didn't like the fact that my friends didn't like him. I tried really hard to keep it steady, but nothing worked. Now, we broke up about a month ago, and not even a week after we broke up, I saw him with his new girlfriend. I haven't even bothered looking in his direction, but a few days ago, my mind was elsewhere and I stupidly looked at him, and the way he looked at me, it was like he was trying to say "this is what you're missing, bi*t*h" (he was with his new girlfriend). I can't tell my family about this because I was told I can't date until I'm in University, but I couldn't wait until then. I've lost all my friends now and I regret everything I did. Whatdo I do now?

12/02/2018
Anonymous:

Why can't I, a high schooler, live in the moment? And take chances, maybe make some mistakes? My parents are strict, and they won't let me experience anything new, that might change their way of life. Not even if it is a good thing, like becoming a Christian. Why?

11/29/2018
tbfemily:
Dear Anonymous dealing with an eating disorder,

First of all, thank you for asking us. It is so important to reach out for help in situations like this.

I really feel compassion for what you are going through. A lot of teens struggle with their body image today and I have dealt with it myself. However, many teens don’t know how to overcome poor thoughts about themselves as they look to things like movies, magazines, and Instagram to compare themselves to. These things tend to fill your mind with lies about who you are, so it is so important to look for the Truth in the Bible about what God says. 

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” (Psalms 139:13-14)

This verse in the Bible is taking about how God has not only formed every complex part of you, but uniquely designed you before you were even born. That’s amazing! It is also saying you are to praise God for His wonderful workmanship in creating you the way he did, not think mean thoughts about yourself. 

We can think these thoughts when we know that we are a child of God and nothing else matters to us but what He thinks of you. Have you become a child of God? If so, that is where all you need comes from and you can look at yourself with joy in knowing you belong to Jesus. If not, the Bible says you need to be made right with God (Him forgiving your sins) by trusting in Jesus to save you from hell because He has died on the cross for you.

“We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ.” (Romans 3:22)

You had asked how to connect with God and that is the first step! By trusting in Him and asking Him to be the Lord of your life (or in complete control of it) and for him to help you see yourself how He sees you—His beautiful, marvelous creation! This is through prayer (talking to God). It is through relying on Jesus that you can overcome this!

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

You can know God cares deeply about you because He died for you. Now, He asks that you give up all of the things you’re worried about, like how you look, and give it to Him to give you peace to help you! If you really did place your faith in Jesus I have one last verse for you to consider. If Jesus is in control of your life you must do what He says in His Word—the Bible. 

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

If you have any more questions about this please email me anytime at 

emilyd@toddbecker.org


11/25/2018