Anonymous Answers


Life's tough, it's not easy. This is the place where you can ask us any question, get anything off your mind and tell us your story. We'll do our best to respond quickly.

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Anonymous:

Hello, I am a student from one of your more recent trips, and I just have a few questions that need answered. Keith was saying that before we were born, God planned out every moment in our lives, and how He knows us by name. If God planned out my life, did He conciously plan for me to lose my brother and mother to a drunk in a street? Does God just want to see the world burn, and am I going to burn with it?

12/10/2018
tbfjoana:
To Anonymous who lost a friend, 

Wow, it seems that you are going through a lot lately. I am really sorry for you, and I really appreciate you reaching out to us! I feel like it would be better if you reach out to me on my email that way I can answer your questions more in detail. 

You can email me at joana@toddbecker.org


12/03/2018
tbfaaron:
To Anonymous with strict parents,

Sorry about the slow response, but I want to answer your question still.

When we "live in the moment" we have to choose the type of actions we are going to do. Whether your choice is  partying, drinking or even attending church to grow closer to God, those actions will either honor the Lord or they  will dishonor Him.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:10, "For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body."

Notice in that verse that it does not say  "Your parents must stand before Christ to be judged for you."  It says that you will be judged for the good or evil things you choose to do. God is a fair judge. Just because you want to live in the moment and take chances does not mean that you will be free from the day of judgement. Each of us will stand before the Lord for our own actions. You can still honor and respect your parents and what they want for you, but when the day of judgement comes you will have to stand before God.

I think a big question that you might want to ask yourself is, "Why do I want to do these things?" Are you longing to be like everyone else? Are you wanting to fit in? Are you wanting to rebel?

The Bible also talks about these things clearly when it says in Romans 12, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." God does not want us to be 'taking chances and making mistakes' just to be like what the world says we should be. He calls us to be Holy which in simplicity means being perfect. 1 Peter 1 says, "You must be holy because I am holy."  Obviously, we can't be perfect and God knows that we aren't perfect and that's why He sent Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins. If we choose to follow Christ, we are called to a way of living that is very different than the world. So rather than 'taking chances and making mistakes and experiencing new things that the world has to offer', we should be trying as hard as we can to live a life that takes us away from 'the line' of sin. 

At the end of the day, choosing to follow Christ is your choice. This decision is not something you choose to do one time then never revisit it. It's hard. It will change your life if you take it seriously. Jesus will change your life if you take Him seriously. It's a daily decision.

I hope that helps.  

If you have any questions at all please email me at
aaron@toddbecker.org


12/03/2018
Anonymous:

Hi! I'm the same student who talked about losing my friend over a guy. We've stopped talking, But I've got another problem. I absolutely suck at math and it's one of the things my family want me to pursue, but that's not what I want. I'm in high school right now so I need to pass math, but at the moment my average went from an 82 to a 64! All because of one test. So I got my phone taken away and now I've realized that all because I'm not going to be pursuing a career with math, doesnt mean I can do bad in it. Now, I think I have depression, to put it in the simplest way. I hate seeing people, stopped talking to all my friends and teachers, barely make contact with my family anymore, and it's all over a boy. I loved him and he left me because he didn't like the fact that my friends didn't like him. I tried really hard to keep it steady, but nothing worked. Now, we broke up about a month ago, and not even a week after we broke up, I saw him with his new girlfriend. I haven't even bothered looking in his direction, but a few days ago, my mind was elsewhere and I stupidly looked at him, and the way he looked at me, it was like he was trying to say "this is what you're missing, bi*t*h" (he was with his new girlfriend). I can't tell my family about this because I was told I can't date until I'm in University, but I couldn't wait until then. I've lost all my friends now and I regret everything I did. Whatdo I do now?

12/02/2018
Anonymous:

Why can't I, a high schooler, live in the moment? And take chances, maybe make some mistakes? My parents are strict, and they won't let me experience anything new, that might change their way of life. Not even if it is a good thing, like becoming a Christian. Why?

11/29/2018
tbfemily:
Dear Anonymous dealing with an eating disorder,

First of all, thank you for asking us. It is so important to reach out for help in situations like this.

I really feel compassion for what you are going through. A lot of teens struggle with their body image today and I have dealt with it myself. However, many teens don’t know how to overcome poor thoughts about themselves as they look to things like movies, magazines, and Instagram to compare themselves to. These things tend to fill your mind with lies about who you are, so it is so important to look for the Truth in the Bible about what God says. 

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” (Psalms 139:13-14)

This verse in the Bible is taking about how God has not only formed every complex part of you, but uniquely designed you before you were even born. That’s amazing! It is also saying you are to praise God for His wonderful workmanship in creating you the way he did, not think mean thoughts about yourself. 

We can think these thoughts when we know that we are a child of God and nothing else matters to us but what He thinks of you. Have you become a child of God? If so, that is where all you need comes from and you can look at yourself with joy in knowing you belong to Jesus. If not, the Bible says you need to be made right with God (Him forgiving your sins) by trusting in Jesus to save you from hell because He has died on the cross for you.

“We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ.” (Romans 3:22)

You had asked how to connect with God and that is the first step! By trusting in Him and asking Him to be the Lord of your life (or in complete control of it) and for him to help you see yourself how He sees you—His beautiful, marvelous creation! This is through prayer (talking to God). It is through relying on Jesus that you can overcome this!

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

You can know God cares deeply about you because He died for you. Now, He asks that you give up all of the things you’re worried about, like how you look, and give it to Him to give you peace to help you! If you really did place your faith in Jesus I have one last verse for you to consider. If Jesus is in control of your life you must do what He says in His Word—the Bible. 

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

If you have any more questions about this please email me anytime at 

emilyd@toddbecker.org


11/25/2018
Anonymous:

I've recently found out that I have an eating disorder.... at the beginning of my school year, I was abt 120 pounds. I'm now 107...I'm scared and I dont know what to do. I dont want to reach out for help, bc I dont want people feeling sorry for me, when I was ththe one who made this happen. And I'm not sure what to do, or how to handle it, and it just doesnt seem like God is there helping me through any of this...how do I connect with him during something like this...

11/24/2018
tbfemily:
Dear anonymous,

thank you for reaching out to us. Wow, you have been through a lot. To answer you question, you can never be too far gone to come back to the narrow road. The Bible says in Romans 5:8 “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” You see, God doesn’t expect you or your boyfriend to clean up your lives on your own—in fact that would be impossible. He wants you to come to Him now, and He will give you the power over the sins you struggle with and heal your brokenness. Jesus so badly wants to heal your hurts. In fact, He was beaten and whipped and hung on a cross for you. 1 Peter 2:24 says “By His wounds you are healed.” But there is a point is no return, which is death. The Bible says that after we die we will be judged by God. The only way to be made right with God is by giving your life to Jesus and letting Him be the ruler of your life. This is a decision you have to make for yourself, and your boyfriend will have to make for himself. You cannot change him. He has to be willing to surrender to God and allow God to change him. 

If you have any more questions feel free to email me at 

emilyd@toddbecker.org


11/16/2018
Anonymous:

Thank you Keith for sharing your presentation with us. I loved it. I was very inspired and I could feel the change in me afterward. It's like everything shifted. I just have one problem now. 
My boyfriend was at both of your presentations that you gave here. During your first presentation at the end i was one of the first three that came and joined you. He didn't come at all which surprised me. I know he's wanted a better life for himself. I'll kind of give you a run down of what he is like and what he's been through. 
He's had a rough life. A junior in our high school, he has a younger sister and a younger brother, an alcoholic mom who doesn't really care, and an abusive father like mine. Three years ago, maybe even before that, he started drinking himself and then he's gotten in trouble with the law and for a few years he has went to different places to get help. I've known him for about four years and we never really talked until this last year. For the past four years my mom has made sure that I stay far away as I possibly can because he's a bad person to her. But really he isn't a bad person. I was drawn to him. He isn't bad he is just broken like me.
After we got together to just hangout a few times we started opening up to each other and telling each other what is bothering us, what makes us the way we are. We talk about our mistakes and things from our past. My mom thinks he's all dangerous and bad but really he's just confused. He hasn't had someone to help him through life and he's trying to figure it out on his own. Now it's me who is trying to help him.
Last night I asked him about the presentation and what he thought of it. He told me he was way beyond the point of turning back and that he isn't worth somebody's time to try and fix him. Then he told me that the way his dad treats him just proves that. But I started thinking. My dad treats me the same way yet I am trying to go back.
My question for you is that, Is there a point where there is no point of return? Or can you go back even if youre so far along the road already?


11/15/2018
tbfmatt:
Great question! 

I want us to read this verse about a man who was crucified alongside Christ. This man was a thief and committed the crime he was accused of 

39 One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!"
40 But the other rebuked him, saying, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation?
41 And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong."
42 And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."
43 And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise." - Luke 23:39-43

As you can see this person was a lifelong thief and criminal. yet Jesus told him the he would have eternal life. 

As long as you have life there is always hope to be brought back to the narrow road that leads to life. God wants us to be in heaven with Him. The real issue is with us, will we choose to give Him control of our lives? Or will we continue to live in open unrepentant rebellion towards God?


For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. - Romans 5:6


The only time it is too late is when you are dead. And unfortunately death can come at the most unexpected moment. It is a 100% fact that we will all die some day. 

And it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, - Hebrews 9:27

Don’t mess around with your eternity turn away from your sin and put your trust in Jesus! 

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near" - Matthew 3:2

I would love to talk to you more about the Bible and if you have any questions please feel free to email me at


Matt@toddbecker.org


11/15/2018
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who is worried about losing friend:

First of all, I am so sorry that we are taking such a long time replying to your post on this blog! I realize because of your question, that you are the same student that emailed me on Sunday! :) Thankfully, I received your email right away, and we were able to talk about it then before your presentation. If you ever need to talk more about it, please feel free to email me anytime! Hope things are going better! 


11/15/2018
Anonymous:

Is there ever a point where you cant turn back at all because you are already so far down the road?

11/15/2018
Anonymous:

So one of my good friends has stopped talking to me because she doesn't like the guy I'm dating. She doesn't even bother to make eye contact with me anymore. And we have to do a presentation together tomorrow. The only reason she doesn't like him is because he has to take a drug (not gonna mention it) for ADHD and she has lived by the stereotype that all drugs are bad and people that take drugs are even worse. What should I do?

11/11/2018
tbfbecca:
To the person struggling with losing their brother:
I want to deeply apologize that we are just now answering your question!! We really try to answer within 24 hours of people posting. Our team has been gone on a long trip this week, so it didn't get checked like it normally does...I am so sorry!

My heart hurts for you with your struggle with your brother. It is gut-wrenching to see someone go down a path of sin and change so drastically. It truly does change even their personality, like you said. 

We all know that we can't control how others act, but we can control our response to them. There are three things that I want to encourage you to do: First: pray, pray, pray. Your brother's story actually reminds me of Keith's story. Keith was not following Jesus when he was first in college. He was into the party scene, and often did not treat others with respect and love. He actually went to Florida as well while he was in college. It was while he was there that God began to work on his heart. God brought a friend into his life that spoke with him about Jesus, and that began the process of Keith turning to Christ. Keith had a praying Grandma that prayed for him faithfully!!!  James 5:16 says: The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Secondly, it is so important to forgive.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

If you have chosen to follow Jesus, then God has forgiven you of all of your sin. And sin is sin...even little sin deserves hell, so we all desperately need forgiveness. Christ has forgiven us of so much, and we must forgive others so we can be forgiven. Mark 11:26 says: But if you don't forgiveneither will your Father in heaven forgive your wrongdoing."

Thirdly, I encourage you to show him love. Even when he's unloveable. Even when he hurts you. Matthew 5:43-48 says: 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I hope all this helps you in some way!! Please feel free to email me anytime if you have any further questions! I'd love to talk to you. becca@toddbecker.org

 


10/25/2018
Anonymous:

How do I deal with losing my brother to sin? He's been drinking, smoking, doing things that no brother of mine should be doing, he comes home says hi and leaves straight back for college without a care in the world. And recently he told me he wanted to move all the way to florida, and it hurts because I feel he's just going to be the same as he was where I live. He used to be the kindest brother until he met his "friends" who made it seem "nice" to hurt others and do bad things. I just wanna know, how am I supposed to forgive someone like him for doing what has done?

10/22/2018
tbfchris:
To Anonymous from Pleasanton,

Thanks for writing in.  I am really sorry to hear about the struggles you are having.  I can assure you this, your not alone with it.  That is a typical pressure in our world.  Success is measured in our culture by your amount of education and how prosperous or influential you are.  That couldn't be furter from the truth as Jesus said.  Jesus actually set a completly different standard.  In Matthew 20:16 the Lord says when entering the Kingdom of God the "First shall be last, and the last shall be first."  What he means by this is that your stature or influence won't get you an inch into Heaven.  Christ says that he looks at the heart.  Have you surrendered to Him yet?  

Jesus also says in Matthew 6;34 to "not worry about tomorrow".  Jesus takes care of the birds, flowers, and trees.  How much more valuable are you to God than that?  If you seek Christ with all your heart, he will perfectly put you in His will.  When your heart is towards him the Bible says that he will give you peace.  His presence is truly the only safe place to be.

If you would like to talk more, please feel free to e-mail me at 
chris@toddbecker.org


10/18/2018
Anonymous:

Okay, this is the day after the assembly in Pleasenton, and I was touched by the entire story. The thing that probably got me the hardest was the fact that teh speaker had influenced Todd to do drugs and the like. I don't want to offend the speaker, but it hit me hard because I'm the oldest out of four children, and a sophomore. Two more years, and everyone seems to be cramming college and my future down my throat. It bothers me because I don't even know what my future holds. I know what college I want to go to, but I don't want to try so hard to get in and not. I'm scared of failure. My mom keeps on telling me and my younger sister this everytime we do something wrong: "As a mother, I want you to be better than me." Simpy writing/typing those words brings tears to my eyes, and hearing them makes me want to cry. I want to make her proud, I want to make her happy, but ... I don't know how ... I often wear a mask that's like a slip of paper that I wrote a permanant smiley face on, always telling everyone I'm fine, but it's starting to break down and leak my worries, my fears, all my self-doubt, and all the things I don't want people to see. I'm a big fan of Pokemon, and if I were a Pokemon, I feel like I would be a Mimikyu. If you don't know what Mimikyu is, it's a shadowy figure that hides under a cloth that makes it look similar to Pikachu. *the reason it hides is because it doesn't want to scare anyone away as it tries to make friends. If the disguise breaks, then the shadowy smoke escapes and takes the viewer to either their own little dreamland or to their worst fears imaginable. If I was a Mimikyu, my disguise would have a few holes in it, and instead of the viewer's hopes and dreams or worst nightmare, it'd be mine. I don't want people to see that. I don't want people to know that I'm suffering. So I slip on my disguise (or mask, whatever you choose) and face it, thinking I'll be able to patch it up later, but I never do. More and more things keep happening to tear at my disguise until it makes another hole, then the process repeats. I can't do this. I'm only in my sophomore year, my future unknown, and people are asking me, pressuring me to make my decision now. I really don't know what to do ... I'm only hoping that I can make it to my senior year ...

10/18/2018
tbfbecca:
To Anonymous who is pressured by friend to take drugs:

I am so glad that you took the time to ask your question!  I wish I could talk to you face to face about this, but I hope you can hear my heart through my typed words.

First of all, my heart hurts for you that you are faced with this pressure on a regular basis. That can begin to really wear on you after a while. I am so proud of you for always saying no. But like you said, you need another method for how to handle this long term. 

I know it's a small school, so it can be super hard to avoid someone, when you see them all the time. Make it clear to this person, that you are there for them any time they need you, but you have no interest whatsoever in joining them in their destructive behavior. So make it clear that you care for them, and will always be there for them, but you won't join them anytime they are partaking in destructive behavior. This means don't attend parties, this means don't hang out with this person one-on-one outside of school. You become those who you hang around with. Choose your friends that you spend lots of time with wisely. It's important to be friendly and kind to everyone, but this doesn't mean you are close friends with everyone.

2 Timothy 2:22-24 says:
22 "Run from temptations that capture young people. Always do the right thing. Be faithful, loving, and easy to get along with. Worship with people whose hearts are pure. 23 Stay away from stupid and senseless arguments. These only lead to trouble, 24 and God’s servants must not be troublemakers. They must be kind to everyone, and they must be good teachers and very patient."

Also, I encourage you to share this struggle with this friend and their pressure to have you do drugs, with a trusted counselor or teacher.  Your friend needs help!!

Finally, it can be very hard to stand strong in your own strength. I don't know if you have made a decision personally to follow Jesus. If you didn't get Keith's book at one of the events yesterday, I encourage you to order one for free off this website! The first five chapters will explain very clearly how you can begin a relationship with Jesus. You need God's power to stand strong.

Please feel free to email me anytime if you have any other questions! My email is becca@toddbecker.org


10/18/2018
Anonymous:

I go to a very small school which means that things spread very fast. There is a girl who is in my class and is a bad influence. She does drugs, alcohol and etc. She tries to force drugs onto people, especially me. Of course I always say no, but she still tries to make me take the drugs. She threatens me every time I tell her no. What can I do to help her not force things on other people and me?

10/17/2018
tbfjoana:
For the anonymous who’s coach had a miscarriage:
I am glad you reached out to us for prayer. 
My heart breaks for her and her lose. I pray that her and the team will find peace during this time and grow closer to God. You are in my prayers if you need anything please contact me at

​joana@toddbecker.org 


09/20/2018
Anonymous:

I am asking for prayers. My volleyball coach announced a couple of weeks ago that she was pregnant. Yesterday morning she had a miscarriage. It's been tough on her and the team please pray for her!

09/18/2018
tbfbecca:
To Brittany:
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us! I am so, so sorry about what you have faced and gone through!  You have experienced so much sadness, hurt and pain in your short life. I want you to know that Jesus cares very deeply for you.

Psalm 56:8 says:
You (Jesus)  keep track of all my sorrows.[a]
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.

1 Peter 5:7 says:
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Jesus loves you more than you can even imagine. His heart breaks for you when your heart breaks. He desperately wants to have a relationship with you! I really encourage you to order a free "I Know" book off this website. Read the first five chapters as soon as you can! It will show you how you can begin a relationship with Jesus!

I would love to talk with you more if you need to talk!! My email is becca@toddbecker.org


09/13/2018
tbfbecca:
To anonymous with friend who has severe depression:

I am glad you took the time to ask your question!  That is so hard to know what to do when someone close to you has severe depression. The important thing is to make them feel that you are there for them! Tell them that you love them no matter how they feel. Tell them that you are a safe place for them to come to when they are discouraged. If they talk about killing themselves, it is very important that you encourage them to tell a trusted adult how they feel. Tell them you will go with them to tell the adult. Gently tell them that if they won't tell an adult about their suicidal thoughts, that you as their friend, will need to fill a trusted adult in that they feel comfortable with. Tell them that you care about them too much for something bad to happen to them!

Secondly (and i don't know if you have a relationship with Jesus, or not) but pray for them!! Jesus cares about every single detail in our lives, and only He can bring true comfort and healing to their lives.

Psalm 40:1-3 says:
1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 
3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORDand put their trust in him.

Isaiah 41:10 says:
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Please feel free to email me if you have any more questions! becca@toddbecker.org

 


09/13/2018
tbfbecca:
To Anonymous with Grandpa fighting cancer:

I am so sorry that you are going through this! It sounds like you are close to your grandpa. Truly, the only way to truly stay strong and positive is to rely on Jesus Christ. I don't know if you have a relationship with Jesus, but He has promised to never leave you. 
Hebrews 13:5-6 says:
God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”[a]
So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

If you have a relationship with Jesus, He will walk with you through the darkest valley! Anyone can have a relationship with Him! I challenge you to order Keith's "I Know" book through this website (it's free!). Read the first five chapters, and it will tell you how to begin a relationship with Jesus!
The Bible also promises that we will have troubles in this world, BUT there is HOPE!
JOHN 16:33: (Jesus talking --)
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Talk to Jesus about what you are going through with your grandpa's sickness. Spend any time that you can with your grandpa. Talk with a close friend or adult about what you are feeling and experiencing...don't just hide your feelings or stuff them inside. 

Please definitely feel free to email me anytime if you have more questions! becca@toddbecker.org

 


09/13/2018
Brittany Collins (real name):

I am more here to make more of a statement, and I thank you for reading it. I was abused and neglected for a lot of my life. I have 10 siblings, and 3 of them died, and I didn't get to meet them. My mother had a son, my little brother, and we were the closest ever, and 4 days before his 1st birthday he passed away. We buried him on his 1st birthday, and his song is "Gone Too Soon" by Daughtry. Finally the summer after he passed away I left the abuse, and I now live with my father, and I am really happy. I suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, but I now do not have suicidal thoughts. Other than those I feel great, and I am finally free from the abuse. I am finally free to be myself.

09/13/2018