Anonymous Answers


Life's tough, it's not easy. This is the place where you can ask us any question, get anything off your mind and tell us your story. We'll do our best to respond quickly.

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tbfemilyd :
Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for reaching out with your question!

To start, and I don’t mean to be too blunt, but it sounds as though you are feeling guilty already because you had done something behind your parents’ back. I’ve been there! I’ve also felt that feeling like you can’t confess something in fear of getting in trouble or letting someone down. But, friend, God calls us to live in the light, that means that we are completely exposed, and open! That is a scary thing when we have sin in our life, or something we don’t want anyone else to know, we want to stay in the darkness where no one can see and hide it! But, God wants us in the light, not to shame us, but to protect us from letting sin rule over us in the darkness! 

“So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John‬ ‭1:6-7‬)

Because God is in the light, if you say you know God, that is where you should be. And it says, it is when we confess our sin, that we come into the light, and He will forgive us! So, it will start by confessing to God, by acknowledging that you have sinned against him by not honoring your parents’ authority as He has commanded. The, go to your parents and confess that you have lied to them and apologize for your mistake. Don’t let fear of what will happen control what you do, don’t let fear of being exposed keep you from forgiveness and freedom from your guilt!

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” (1 John‬ ‭1:9‬)

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” (James‬ ‭5:16‬)

If you have any more questions, don’t hesitate to ask by emailing me at

emilyd@toddbecker.org


08/03/2019
Anonymous:

Hey! Thanks so much for being here and listening to my little dilemma! So...... I got myself into a bit of a troubling situation. A few years ago, without my parents knowledge I got a Twitter account. And I've been using it ever since. Under normal circumstances, I would just delete the account, confess to my parents, and be done with it. However, there's a complication. The few years I've had it, I've developed a strong friendship with a fellow Christian guy (and by friendship I do mean platonic friendship. Not only am I straight, but I also hold to a traditional Biblical view of marriage. Just wanted to clear that up. I know sometimes when someone says they're developing"a strong friendship online" it can be misleading. Lol). He's helped grow me so much in my faith and as a person, and I've been there to help him through some really rough things lately. Because of this, I'm now too far in to simply walk away from the account, but at the same time I don't want to keep living a lie- and I'm also afraid continuing to live this lie will threaten my salvation (I believe Paul mentions in 1 Corinthians 6 believers living such a life will not inherit the kingdom of God). I want to be able to reconcile both things, but I'm not sure how my parents will react and so can't be sure of that happening. What would you recommend I do? (I'm 18 if it helps give you any more context)

08/02/2019
tbfbecca:
To Josie questioning whether a boy likes her:

I'm so sorry that it has taken me a while to get back to you!

You definitely are not alone! Your question is a question that many girls wrestle with!

But the real questions are these:

1. Are you at an age where your parents allow you to date?

2. Is this boy someone who will point you to Jesus (encourage you in your walk with God)?

If you answer yes to the above questions, then it's a great idea to talk with your parents about this boy. If you have their blessing to get to know him, I encourage you to talk with this boy, and ask him exactly what he feels so you are not wondering or jumping to conclusions.

However, I do encourage everyone to wait to date until they are out of high school. Dating in high school brings too much pressure and temptation.  I always tell girls that I never dated in high school, and I was still married at age 20!

If you have any further questions or would like to talk more, please feel free to email me anytime! becca@toddbecker.org


07/30/2019
tbfaaron:
To anonymous struggling with pornography,

First of all, thank you so much for coming here to ask this question. You are on the right track and by admitting it, I can see that the Holy Spirit is working on your heart. It takes a lot of humility to own up to our sins sometimes. 

This is a big issue because many sins are so easy to get trapped into, but with technology at our fingertips, we are able to access pornography nearly instantly and it can overtake us so, so easily. 

Since I don't know where you are at with the Lord, I want to address this in a couple of ways.

1. If you haven't made a commitment to repent of your sins and follow Jesus Christ with your life, there is never going to be a better decision you make in your life. If you would like to go deeper into what that all means, please email me and we can definitely talk more about that.

2. The rest of this post, I'm going to take the stance that you have, in fact, committed your life to Jesus and therefore claim to be a Christian. If this is the case then we should always look to the Bible to see what God says about the situations that we are in, how to deal with sin and how to be free from it, so let's look to the Bible.

The reason that you posted on here is because of your feelings of guilt and shame about viewing pornography. But is it a sin?

Matthew 5:27,28 says, "You have heard the commandment that says, 'You must not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

In this verse, Jesus is referring to one of the ten commandments that says 'You must not commit adultery.' Adultery is usually defined as someone who cheats on their husband or wife, but Jesus takes it a step higher in a sense and says that it's not only the physical act of adultery but more importantly, it's a matter of the heart. So yes, it's a sin, but it's even deeper than we tend to think because it's more about where your heart is than what you're physically doing. 

So how do we deal with it? If you continue in this section, verse 29 says, "So if your eye--even your good eye--causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand--even your stronger hand--causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your bodythan for your whole body to be thrown into hell." 

Jesus says gives a very clear and strong illustration here that we should get rid of whatever is causing us to sin. That's how seriously God takes sin. Obviously, in Jesus time, they didn't have printed magazines and definitely not phones or computers, so the most realistic and clear thing for him to teach about was your eyes or hands. It gets right to the point. So I've often asked others when I'm discussing this sin of pornography, if you were viewing this in a magazine and you wanted so badly to quit, what would you do with the magazines? Throw them away or even burn them, right? We are so much more attached to our cell phones or computers that we decide that it's not worth it to get rid of them. I'm not telling you to destroy your phone or computer, but I am asking you what is more important to you? Your eternal salvation or your electronics? 

On top of all of this 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to "Run from sexual immorality."  Sexual sin is such a hard thing to overcome in a world that constantly uses sex to market products or get high ratings on a show or many other things, but the Bible also tells us that we have the power to overcome it. 

In Philippians 2, Paul tells us, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."  When we come to Christ and make Him Lord (the ruler) of our life, He promises us the power to turn away or run from things like pornography or any other sins. The power that raised Jesus from the dead is the same power that can live in us.

To address the last part of your question, "I'm also scared that I'm going to go to hell for it." I'm not here to let you know if you are or aren't going to Hell, let God's word do that. If you've made a commitment to Christ and made him Lord and are living for Him every day, the Bible says that we have an assurance of salvation because Jesus has paid the penalty for our sin. This doesn't give us an excuse to sin, but we are free from the penalty of sin because of what Jesus has done.

I hope this has helped you answer some of your questions.

Lastly, I want to recommend some sort of software for you look at getting on your phone/computer called 'covenant eyes'. It's a unique system that will have you get an accountability partner and every time you look at something inappropriate it will send an email to that person that will be able to encourage and call you out. It is something that has changed so many lives.

If you have more questions about my post or the software or anything else please feel free to email me at aaron@toddbecker.org  


07/29/2019
Anonymous:

I keep commiting the same sin every once in a while even though I know that it is wrong. I’m really ashamed of myself because I’m looking at pornagraphy. I don’t know how to stop myself from commiting the sin again. I’m also scared that I’m going to go to hell for it. 

07/28/2019
Josie:

So, there's this guy. We all went out bowling as a group, and we hung out a lot there, then we hung out on the ride back, and he kept teasing me. On the walk home, he grabs mypurse, so that we're both holding it and refuses to let go, and he always teases me and pokes me or puts his hands on my shoulders or tickles me. He loves sitting with me too. I like this guy, romantically. Do you think he returns those feelings?

07/28/2019
tbfjoana:
To the anonymous struggling with sadness,

First of all thank you for reaching out, my heart hurts for what happened to you. I know it’s not an easy thing to live with!  I would also like to say  that, NO you shouldn’t blame yourself for something you didn’t do and had no control over. When hard things happen to us we want to let out our anger, sadness, and bitterness in anyway possible.   What happened to you was not right, and your trying to deal with that hurt by physically and mentally hurting yourself. 

There is so much hurt in this world but know that the Lord cares for you. 
Psalm 34:18 says
  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
       he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Isolation and cutting yourself might seem like a solution right now but it will not fix your trauma (hurt) from what happened. 
Know that this world is filled with hurt and darkness, that is not at all what the Lord intend for it to be. The Bible explains that He made the world perfect, but we sinned against Him and that brought hurt, pain, and darkness. We can read that in
Romans 5:15  
        But there is a great difference between Adam’s sin and God’s gracious gift. For the sin of this one man, Adam, brought death to many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of forgiveness to many through this other man, Jesus Christ. 

Adams sin brought death, but God gracious gift brought forgiveness, hope, and life.
God wants for us to have hope and life. And I know that might be hard to find right now. But know that I would like to connect with  to you, and talk a little bit more about what your are going through! Please feel free to email me at 

Joana@toddbecker.org 



 


07/22/2019
Anonymous:

I been struggling with sadness lately. I been lacking sleep. Is it okay to blame yourself for something you didn’t do?  When I was a child I was sexually, physicslly abused. Now I get awful flashbacks or triggers randomly and trust me it’s scary. I just feel so alone and I’m slowly giving up on myself. Like am I really worth living. I always thought killing my self is the 
way out. So I do what’s keeping my alive,I cut myself and I don’t feel a thing. The fact that I still grieve for my grandma and I do regret things. I just can’t do this anymore.. 


07/22/2019
tbftravis:
To Anonymous contemplating suicide,

First, I want to thank you for reaching out for help. I myself have struggled with the overwhelming thoughts of depression at times, so I can relate in some way to how you are feeling now. The temptation while feeling this way is to isolate yourself from others.  This is one of the most dangerous things you can do. You mention missing church for several months, I would encourage you to do what it takes to get back to a strong bible believing church! I often think of this analogy; you wouldn’t expect a person who eats a meal once every 2 months to be a healthy strong person right? Your spiritual health is the same way! In these dark times, run to scripture, fight to get back to church, join a small group, and find yourself on your knees in prayer often! Now is the time, more than ever to build up a foundation of God’s word in your life.

While praying for you, Hebrews 4:15 (NIV) came to my mind, it says “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” Listen, Jesus knows what it is like to feel weak, to feel abandoned by friends, to literally have Satan whispering in His ear.  Cry out to Jesus, read His word and I promise this storm will pass.

I would encourage you to find a group of strong believers to surround yourself with. Get around some people who can walk with you through this storm. God will use those people to strengthen you. Often, I  find when I feel the enemy beating me over the head with a lie, telling a friend often gets me to see how silly and weak that lie is.

I want to leave you with this scripture “For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV). When this passage says faith, it doesn’t mean a blind faith, that you just somehow have to muster the strength to ‘just believe’ This passage points to the promises of scripture, that God will not forsake you, He is not going to leave you, these are things, God said WILL happen in your life. Cling to those things!

Remember I have been through these struggles myself and so please if you have more question or just want to talk my email is travis@toddbecker.org


05/26/2019
tbfemilyd :
Dear Anonymous asking about divorce,

Thank you for reaching out and asking! I hope I can help!

To start, I believe what you are referring to is where in the Bible it addresses divorce. One place is Matthew 19:9 where Jesus says...

“And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”

So, this verse is pretty clear, that if you remarry after having a divorce for any reason other than unfaithfulness, you have committed adultery, this is very clearly a sin and should be addressed as such. 

With that being said, let’s look at what it says in 1 John 1:9...

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

When I look at this verse, what really sticks out to me is the first part. It is so important because without that first part, of us confessing our sins, you can’t have the second part of God’s forgiveness and mercy. You see, we have to acknowledge our sin as sin instead of making excuses for it, and we have to admit that we have fallen short and are in need of God’s Grace. When we do that, it is clear God is faithful to forgive any and all of our sin, but not only that, but cleanse us or get rid of all wickedness in our life! 

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews‬ ‭4:16‬)

I want to encourage you to go to God yourself, this is something you need to do alone, and maybe just sit in silence. And in that moment, I want you to KNOW that He is there, that He is there when you come to Him. Now, just talk to Him, and confess any sin that you haven’t confessed to Him before—maybe it is adultery. Whatever those things are, lay it all down, and it says we will find grace from our gracious God! 

“Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away.” (Acts‬ ‭3:19‬)

When you walk away from there, it says your sins will be wiped away (completely erased!). But again, look at the first part. We must do our part of repenting, which means to turn completely away from our sin! It doesn’t mean we’re perfect, but it does mean a lifestyle that is not full of sin. This may sound impossible, but like it says in that Hebrews verse, He will help us when we need it most, He will give you the strength to walk with Him! 

I hope you find some help in this, I encourage you to research it more yourself by spending time looking at what the Bible has to say! Through this, if you have any more questions, feel free to email me at 

emilyd@toddbecker.org

 


05/25/2019
Anonymous:

I keep struggling with wanting to kill myself every single day. I am a Christian, but I feel like my life is pointless because of how vast creation is and how little I am in the gist of things. I am unhappy with my life, school, job and other activities. I have been missing church for several months due to work, and it has taken a toll on my spiritual life, which is likely why I always feel so depressed and unmotivated since I am unable to commune with others in Christ. I also try to make time for fun with friends, but nothing I do ever makes me feel better. My mother is extremely concerned for me because I am a college student and I am supposed to be happy and excited for my future, but I feel lost and upset with my life. I have often thought of death, but I know my family would miss me and God would be saddened and offended by my lack of a desire to live the life he blessed me with. Please, anyone just help me before I take my life. 

05/25/2019
Anonymous:

Can I be forgiven if I got a divorce and remarried I know your not supposed to because it's a vow with god...

05/24/2019
tbfalex:
To Anonymous who doesn’t feel like God hears you,
 
I am sorry to hear of the pain and confusion this lost relationship has brought to your life. It’s hard for me to know how to answer this question thoroughly without more information on why you will be going to see them in the fall and why you want to be with them, but I will answer it to the best of my ability. Let me tell you before you read this, I am not trying to attack you, make you feel like you’re outside of the will of God, or anything like that… I simply don’t know the entirety of your story and I am trying to explain through a few possibilities of what may be going on.
 
First of all, you say that you have been praying to God and you don’t think He has been answering you at all. Why could this be? We see in the Bible a few different places where God does not answer prayers.
James 4:3 (NLT), “And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong – you want only what will give you pleasure.”
1 John 5:14 (NIV), “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”
 
So with these two verses in mind, we can see that God will not answer our prayers if our motives are wrong or if it is not His will. Now, I’m not saying that God isn’t answering your prayers because of either of these reasons, but I want you to examine your heart and see if maybe one of these could be the reason.
 
Another question I would ask you is: Would this relationship between you and this other person be in the will of God? How do we know if it would be?
 
There’s a few different ways we know. From your post, I am going to assume that you are a Christian. I am assuming that you have repented of [turned away] from your sins and have trusted in Jesus’ death and resurrection alone for the forgiveness of your sins. If not, and if you want to know more about what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, let me know. But for the sake of this answer, I am going to assume that you are a Christian. Now, is the one you are in love with a Christian? If not, we know that this relationship would be outside of the will of God.
2 Corinthians 6:14 (NLT), “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”
This verse clearly illustrates that it is outside of God’s will for any Christians to enter into a relationship with anyone who is not a Christian. Are you both following Christ?
 
Another reason it may be outside of the will of God is because you would not stay pure until marriage.
1 Thessalonians 4:3, “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” Would you stay pure until marriage if you were in a relationship with this person? If you know that you probably wouldn’t, then this scripture very clearly shows that this relationship you are praying for would be outside of the will of God.
 
So, what do you do from here? I will tell you. Look at Matthew 6:33 (NLT) with me. “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
 
You said in your post “I’ve prayed about it because it’s something I want more than anything in my life.” Is this relationship something you want more than your relationship with Jesus? Because if it is, then that is a problem. Jesus wants us to seek the Kingdom of God above all else, that means above our relationships, above our jobs, above our hopes and dreams, above our wants, etc. Does that make sense? God will not take second place in any of our lives. He is God after all.
 
I am married and I love my wife. However, we both are Christians, we did not have sex or even flirt with sex until our wedding night, and we both seek Jesus first, even before each other. Now, I am NOT saying that we have done everything perfect or that we don’t need to reset our priorities in life every once in a while, but we know that God is first in our lives, and each other are second.
 
Is God the first in your life? If not, it’s time to give control of your life over to Him. Once you do that and start reading you Bible daily, He will change the desires of your heart and will show you what to pray for that is in His will! Then you will have confidence that whatever you ask for, he will hear. “And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.” 1 John 5:15 (NIV)
 
With that, I hope and pray that this has helped you in some way. Please email me directly if you have anymore questions at Alex@toddbecker.org


05/22/2019
Anonymous:

I’m really upset because the person I love is with someone else. I’ll be travelling to see them in the fall, and I’ve desperately wanted things to change so I can be with them. I’ve prayed about it because it’s something I want more than anything in my life, but I feel like God doesn’t hear me. He doesn’t even give me a “no,” or a “yes”— just silence. I’m heartbroken and frustrated, but really I’m just looking for guidance on it and how to heal if this is really something that will never happen for me. What do I do?

05/21/2019
tbfemilyd :
Dear Anonymous asking about spiritual forces,

Thank you so much for reaching out for answers! I will do my best to answer. 

I just want to acknowledge what you are describing, that spiritual forces are a very real thing, and there are light forces at work from God and forces of evil that come from Satan. But the good news is there is a way to tell what forces you are dealing with!

“but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil.” (1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:21-22‬) 

It says to put these visions and things that you see and hear ‭to the test! We know that what is from God is good. Therefore, to know if it is from God, it must align with something that God would say—like in the Bible! If these things align with what the Bible say 100% and bring Him glory, it may be from Him. On the contrary, if it goes against what the Bible says, if it is dark or leads you to sin, it is not from God! Be careful though, the enemy can easily disguise a lie to look like Truth; that is why it is so important to know what God says in His word! 

Notice in that verse it says to stay away from EVERY kind of evil... that is a warning. Like I said dark spiritual verses are real and the enemy would love nothing more than for you to get involved with them. Don’t let these get a foothold in your life by interacting with things like witchcraft, ouija boards, mediums, or any form of demonic activity. 

Now that may be alarming! But, with Jesus we have nothing to fear! Here’s why...

“He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.” (Colossians‬ ‭2:14-15‬)

You see, God came down and died on a cross because you owe a debt of death because of your sin. “For the wages of sin is death,” (Romans 6:23) When Christ died and payed that debt for you, it says he disarmed, or made them completely defenseless, and defeated evil! Therefore, Jesus has power over darkness, and when we come to Him, the Light of the world, we have power to be free from darkness too!

The Truth is, I don’t know exactly what your sin is, but I do know that you have sinned! “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” (Romans‬ ‭3:23‬) And no matter what, the truth is, the charge is against you, and one day when you die you will have to stand before God, unable to pay the debt you owe. 

But, the Good News is... “When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.” (Romans‬ ‭5:6‬) ... Jesus Christ willingly sacrificed His life so you could stand before Him with your record of wrong canceled, which results in eternal life! 

No matter what your sin is, are you ready to let go of it and turn to follow Jesus? Are you ready to turn completely away from your sin and darkness and put your trust in Him for where you are going to go when you die and who is worthy of following while you live? 

If you are, this is a free gift, you can’t earn salvation. All you have to do is receive it. 

“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John‬ ‭1:12‬)

I would love to continue this conversation if this is something that you feel a tugging on your heart to do, if so, please email me at 

emilyd@toddbecker.org


05/17/2019
Anonymous:

I was raised in christain home but rarely did we talk about god..im trying to get closer to Jesus an god but im not sure if he would except me ..i have a 6th sense i feel energys other pepoles pains an thoughts i visions some time that come true .ive ben practicing reiki after 20 years tryibg to supress my who i am .i felt a spirit drain me an banished it next day i break my foot ..again im rejecting my nature cutting myself off of energy .im not evil dose god se this as evil an i have these abilitys since child hood are thry from god dose he want me to b me or is it a sin? Im reading bible an the light getting stronger but i still since things .im requisitioning god thinking he does expect me cus it was impossible for us to get money for the surgery without it i would have ben cripple by miracle my husbands family prayed they r strong with god an in 2 days we had the money for suergy .so im lost an i have littel knowledge of god out side the bible afraid to tell others of my abilitys out of fear they think im evil im not i love the light an help others every chanse i get.

05/16/2019
tbfalex:
To Anonymous who is scared of death,
 
Thank you for reaching out to us with your question. You may feel like what you are feeling is rare, but in a recent study done in 2017 by Chapman University, they found that over 20% of people are either “afraid” or “very afraid” of death. You see, everyone thinks about death, and I’d say at one time or another, everyone is “very afraid” to die.
 
So what hope is there?
 
As you may know, when God created us, we were made to live forever with Him. However, Adam and Eve disobeyed God (sinned) and because of their sin, mankind was separated from God. Romans 5:12 says, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” Since we have all sinned, we will all die.
 
So what’s the hope?
 
Jesus is the hope! You see, Jesus came and died on the cross for your sins and rose from the dead to defeat death! He rose from the dead!! Just let that sink in for a minute… Then we see in 1 Corinthians 15:21-22, “So you see, just as death came into the world through a man (Adam), now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man (Jesus). Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life.”
 
That is the hope! All who belong to Jesus will be given new life. Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.” (John 11:25) Do you belong to Jesus? Because if you do, there is no reason to fear death or the future! We will all die, but we have hope that because Jesus is the Son of God, and He defeated sin and death, we will live with Him in Heaven after we die. Have you ever believed in Jesus? To believe in Jesus means to put your trust in Him. You can do that right now. All that you must do is repent from your sins and surrender your life to Jesus. Repent simply means to turn away from your sins as a result of sincere regret or sorrow for your sins. Turn away from whatever sins you are involved in right now and ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life. Ask Him to give you the power by the Holy Spirit to overcome the sins in your life. Romans 10:9-10, “If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.” Right now, you can pray to Jesus and tell him that you believe He died and rose again for you sins and you can tell Him that He is now the Lord of your life, which means He is the One you follow now.
 
I will leave you with a few last thoughts. Jesus will come again and He will destroy death! “And the last enemy to be destroyed is death” (1 Corinthians 15:26) The good news of Jesus is that we who trust in Him will live with Him forever and defeat death! We don’t have to be scared to die.

1 Corinthians 15:56, “For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” We have victory over death through Jesus!! Have you put your trust in Him yet?

If you have trusted in Jesus, get out there and tell everyone about Him! He is the hope of the world, and we must warn everyone that if they do not belong to Christ they will not spend eternity in Heaven, but will be punished in Hell for their sins. When we trust in Jesus, our sins are taken away because of His sacrifice on the cross and because He rose again defeating sin and death for those who trust only in Him!
 
I hope this helps. If you have more questions, I would be glad to help out. Feel free to email me directly at Alex@toddbecker.org


05/15/2019
Anonymous:

I'm constantly afraid of the future I know one day i won't be here anymore and it scares me so bad to think one day I'll close my eyes and there be nothing. Can someone please tell or help me, i want to believe I really do but I believe its my constant fear thats holding me back. I hope this isn't insisative I'm just scared and don't want to ask anyone else I'm scared they will start thinking like I do and be terrified too..

05/14/2019
tbfalex:
To Anonymous trying to understand,
 
Thank you so much for reaching out to us with your questions. I want to apologize for the delay in our response, but I am glad to see that you are searching for the truth.
 
I want to preface your questions with another question: If no one could ever answer your question perfectly, would that give us any reason to doubt Christianity?
 
I will come back to that later, but first I will attempt to answer your question to the best of my ability. When I look at your question, I can hear the pain you’re speaking of in regards to the sin in this world. I have seen many people close to me be killed in tragic ways, and I see the pain and suffering every time I talk with someone about how things are really going in their life. So why would God create something imperfect that causes so much pain? I think it’s important to go back and actually see what God created. Where do you see that God created sin? Through the first few chapters of Genesis we see that God created the heavens and the earth and “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31) We do see in Genesis 2:9 that God created the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But was this tree evil? I think we automatically think it was because it has “evil” in its name, but I think the emphasis is more on knowledge. This tree contained the knowledge of good and evil but was not itself evil. However, God did give them a very clear command that they could not eat of this tree in Genesis 2:16-17. When I see these passages of scripture I think it is showing us that God has given us the gift of free will. He created this tree because He wanting us to obey Him. He wanted us to love Him and keep His commands. We read in John 14:15 that Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.” God has given us free will to love Him, but that also includes the possibility of us choosing to disobey Him. We see in 1 John 3:4 what sin is. “Everyone who sins is breaking God’s law, for all sin is contrary to the law of God.” This means that Adam and Eve sinned when they broke God’s law. God commanded them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and they did the contrary. I know I cannot answer this question perfectly, but I think we so often point our finger at God and say, “See, God’s the evil one, He caused us to sin and He made sin.” From what I see and what I think the Bible clearly illustrates, is not that God created sin, but that God gave us free will, and in the act of us disobeying His command, we created sin. It is our fault, not God’s. We simply want an excuse to feel justified for living in our sin.
 
I hope this helps answer your question, but I also want to go back to my earlier question to you. Even if I am wrong in my answer about how sin was created, does that give us any reason to doubt Christianity? And I want to show you that it does not. Christianity is based solely on the resurrection of Jesus. 1 Corinthians 15:17 states, “And if Christ has not been raised, then your faith is useless and you are still guilty of your sins.”
 
How sin came into the world and why it happened is a good question that quite honestly we may never know in its entirety. But I want you to see what we DO know! We know that because we sinned against God, we deserve to be punished and eternally separated from Him. (2 Thessalonians 1:8-9) But He loved us so much that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to pay the price so we could be made right with Him again. (John 3:16, 1 Peter 1:18-19)
 
Romans 5:18 and 21, “Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone…So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us the right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
 
I want to encourage you, there is so much evidence that Jesus is indeed who He claimed to be, the Son of God. That was proven by His resurrection from the dead, which is the best-attested event in ancient history. I would encourage you to look into the life of Jesus and if you haven’t already, surrender your life to Him and trust in Him! We may never know the answers to some questions, but I do absolutely know the answer to how you can be made right with God even though you have fallen into sin. It is by confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and by believing in your heart that God raised him from the dead. (Romans 10:9-10, Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:3-7)
 
Please take time to look up all of these verses to help you trust more in Jesus. In the meantime, if you have more questions, feel free to email me directly at Alex@toddbecker.org


05/01/2019
Anonymous trying to understand:

If Christ Jesus loves us so much and He created everything, then why did He create sin? If He is a perfect God then why would He create something imperfect that causes so much pain?

04/25/2019
tbfbecca:
To Anonymous trying to fit in with friends:

I am so sorry it has taken a while for us to respond to your question! Thank you for taking the time to ask that...my heart goes out to you, because I know the pain of not feeling like you fit in...I think everyone has felt that in their life at some point, if they're honest.

I want to share some words that our team member Aaron wrote about bullying...friends being unkind:

"I am so very sorry that you are dealing with all of this, it is definitely not the way that God intended things to be. He loves you very much and wants you to experience the Joy of the Lord even in the hard times. Nehemiah 8:10 says, "...the Joy of the Lord is my strength."

I want to give you some scriptures to look at to see what the Bible says about your situation. 

God wants you to lean on Him and depend on Him for everything. Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." See, God wants us to trust Him, we won't understand everything in this life. I don't think we were ever meant to understand everything in this life. God wants us to have faith in Him and Hebrews 11:1 says "​Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."  

There are times in our life that God in His mighty sovereignty (which means His 'ultimate authority') allows things to happen to us so that we will be drawn to Him. In my life, about 10 years ago, my wife had some very complicated health issues while she was pregnant with our second daughter. The doctors had explained to me that the worst possible case scenario was pretty likely to happen - I may not walk out of that hospital with a wife or a daughter. The doctors were basically telling me that they were ready for us to lose my wife and also my daughter.

This all happened within about a span of 3 days. They were fine one day, then 3 days later, they were on the brink of death. Now I know that God didn't cause this to happen, but He did allow it. At the time, I couldn't understand for the life of me why something like this would happen. We had been serving Christ, but He chose not to 'protect' her in this moment. 

Looking back, I can see that God was using this situation to grow me and my wife. See I had grown up in church and my faith had become very stagnant. He brought me to a point where all I could do was trust in Him. 

I think we all have points in our lives like that. We all will go through something very hard that seems like life won't continue or that we don't want it to continue. We have 2 choices in these situations. We can turn to alcohol, drugs, people, even sleep, video games. Sometimes we just want to get our mind on other things, which may feel right, or fine at the time, but they won't ever help in the long run. The other choice is that we turn to God. 

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you." - 1 Peter 5:7

Again, bullying is not something that God wants you to go through, God doesn't want to see you hurting, but remember, this doesn't mean that He will save us from every hurt here on Earth. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." 

That verse brings me to the last thing I want to leave you with. You may have heard this verse before, and we tend to focus on the first part, "God causes everything to work together for good...". This is nice, but it's not the whole verse. It says that He "causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." God loves all people, but don't get that confused in this verse, not everyone loves God. This is hard to think about sometimes, but we need to know that God is not going to force anyone to love Him and therefore some people will choose not to have His blessings. 

Do you have a relationship with God? Can you look at your life and say that you truly love God? If we played a movie of even the last month of your life, would it reflect that you love God? Please know that I am not asking these questions to condemn you or make you feel bad, but to bring the reality of the fact that if we don't have Christ, we don't have a hope in this life. I really want to encourage you to seek Christ."

Lamentations 3:24 says, " I say to myself, "The Lord is everything I will ever need. So I will put my hope in him."

I hope those words from Aaron encouraged you. I want to encouraage you to intentionally nurture relationships with caring adults in your life...school counselor, teachers, coaches.  I also want to encourage you to look for people in your school that are in the same boat as you. Make it your goal to make others feel comfortable and make it your aim that others will never feel how you have felt. If you are focused on helping others connect, you will begin to find yourself connecting with others! Also, if people are talking behind your back and laughing at you, you don't want their friendship. People like that will not be there for you in the hard times, they are only worried about themselves. Try to make friendships with those who don't do that...those are the real people who will be there for you in the hard times.

Please feel free to email me anytime! becca@toddbecker.org


04/24/2019
Anonymous:

I am a freshman and finally feel like I have some place in my class and among friends but I feel like I’m not normal. How do I fit in better I want to be friends with other classmates but most times they just turn around and talk about me behind my back. 
I just feel like nobody cares anymore and that they all see me as a laughing stalk. Where do I go from here?


04/22/2019
tbfalex:
To Anonymous who’s marriage is struggling,
 
I am so sorry to hear about the pain you have been walking through recently. I am married and can’t even imagine the feeling of betrayal that would bring. I am glad that you reached out to us, and I hope and pray that my answer will help you during this time.
 
First of all, why do these bad things happen? We can find that answered in Romans 5:12, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” You see, the first humans God created (Adam and Eve) were without sin, but then they broke God’s command. After they sinned, sin entered the world. Sin is anything that goes against God’s law (1 John 3:4). This includes commandment number seven, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” We have all broken God’s commands. Jesus says in Matthew 5:27, "Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” James 2:10 says, “For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws.” Even if you have only sinned one time, you are just as guilty as the person who has sinned a million times. This is because God is HOLY, which means that He is “set apart” from us or He is “perfect” or “without any sin.” Because of this, we all deserve to go to hell, whether we have committed adultery, lied, gossiped, murdered, stolen, or lusted. BUT that is why we just celebrated Easter! Do you know what Easter is all about? It is about the LOVE of God. It is about Him loving us so much that even when we deserved to go to hell,  He sent his Son, Jesus, do die on the cross for our sins 2000 years ago! This is a historically proven fact that Jesus died and rose again! We can now be forgiven and live for what is right, and we can live for Jesus with our everything. And when we do that, we won’t keep on sinning. Therefore, when we know Jesus, we won’t keep on committing adultery, lying, gossiping, murdering, stealing, lusting, etc. This is the greatest news ever!
 
Have you ever committed your life to Jesus, Anonymous? If so, you will want to do what He says, and this is what God says about divorce. Malachi 2:16, “’For I hate divorce’, says the Lord,…”
 
We see in scripture that God takes covenants very seriously. When you say, “I do”, you have made a covenant with your wife until, “death do you part.” This means that if you get a divorce you are breaking that covenant. However, I cannot speak into your life directly, as I don’t know your entire story. All I can say as far as getting back together with your wife or not, is to ask you to go talk with a marriage counselor at your church. If you don’t go to church yet, hopefully you will soon after you understand what Jesus has done for you. Find a Bible-believing church and go talk with a professional marriage counselor about what you are to do in this situation. I truly believe that God’s heart is for you and your wife to seek Him and find healing, forgiveness, and restoration in your marriage.
 
In the meantime, I will be praying for you and your marriage.
 
If you have anymore questions, feel free to email me at Alex@toddbecker.org


04/22/2019
Anonymous:

My wife and I have been together since we were 15. Last year she had an affair. She did it because for several reasons I believe but one of those is because I chose to move with are son to my parents and she liked her job. She felt that was a betryal. But when. I tried to speak to her about it prior to that decisions she wouldn't. I did that because we got in to debt which is paid off now. I learned of the affair via email she sent to a family member. When she wanted me to come back with our son I said no and by then I facebooked the guy ( who she worked with). The guy decided to ghost her even at their work. The man was also married. After that she decided to sleep with two other men but didn't disclose that to me until Months later. For months I was saying let's work on us come to me because we couldn't afford where we use to live and she didnt and she played with my emotions by saying one week I love you then the next I hate you which now she says she was mad at herself and regrets everything. When. I was on suicide watch at the hospital she boasted about one of the men she slept with.she was also verbal and sometimes physically abusive in out relationship. She says now she wants you be better for me and our son. She says she love me but its not the same love. I know for a fact she isn't over me because I had a female friend over when she went to talk to our son and she lost her shit. Later calling it a moment of weakness. She is now moving closer to be closer to our son and I am going through divorce proceedings but I still love and care about her. I know most people will say get rid of her. Should I take her back if what she is saying about changing is true.

04/20/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who lost their dad:

We apologize for the lateness in replying! Our team has been on the road all week, so it's been hard to stay on top of things! 

It sounds like you are doing very memorable things to help you on your Dad's birthday. Those things really can help the people left behind who are grieving the loss.

Keith's family has done several different things to remember Todd. Visiting his grave, his parents sponsor a day on the local Christian radio station and one Christmas, Chinese lanterns were lit...things like that. Those things are not necessary, as it is not for the person that died, but rather it is for those of us who are left behind to help in our grieving process and help heal as we remmeber them in a special, memorable way. So, if it helps you heal, if it helps you in your grieving process, do as many memorable things as you can think of, to remember your Dad!

If you have any other questions, please feel free to email me anytime, as this anonymous answer board is not meant for continuing conversation. I would love to hear from you!


04/18/2019