Anonymous Answers


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Anonymous:

I am a freshman and finally feel like I have some place in my class and among friends but I feel like I’m not normal. How do I fit in better I want to be friends with other classmates but most times they just turn around and talk about me behind my back. 
I just feel like nobody cares anymore and that they all see me as a laughing stalk. Where do I go from here?


04/22/2019
tbfalex:
To Anonymous who’s marriage is struggling,
 
I am so sorry to hear about the pain you have been walking through recently. I am married and can’t even imagine the feeling of betrayal that would bring. I am glad that you reached out to us, and I hope and pray that my answer will help you during this time.
 
First of all, why do these bad things happen? We can find that answered in Romans 5:12, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” You see, the first humans God created (Adam and Eve) were without sin, but then they broke God’s command. After they sinned, sin entered the world. Sin is anything that goes against God’s law (1 John 3:4). This includes commandment number seven, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” We have all broken God’s commands. Jesus says in Matthew 5:27, "Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” James 2:10 says, “For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws.” Even if you have only sinned one time, you are just as guilty as the person who has sinned a million times. This is because God is HOLY, which means that He is “set apart” from us or He is “perfect” or “without any sin.” Because of this, we all deserve to go to hell, whether we have committed adultery, lied, gossiped, murdered, stolen, or lusted. BUT that is why we just celebrated Easter! Do you know what Easter is all about? It is about the LOVE of God. It is about Him loving us so much that even when we deserved to go to hell,  He sent his Son, Jesus, do die on the cross for our sins 2000 years ago! This is a historically proven fact that Jesus died and rose again! We can now be forgiven and live for what is right, and we can live for Jesus with our everything. And when we do that, we won’t keep on sinning. Therefore, when we know Jesus, we won’t keep on committing adultery, lying, gossiping, murdering, stealing, lusting, etc. This is the greatest news ever!
 
Have you ever committed your life to Jesus, Anonymous? If so, you will want to do what He says, and this is what God says about divorce. Malachi 2:16, “’For I hate divorce’, says the Lord,…”
 
We see in scripture that God takes covenants very seriously. When you say, “I do”, you have made a covenant with your wife until, “death do you part.” This means that if you get a divorce you are breaking that covenant. However, I cannot speak into your life directly, as I don’t know your entire story. All I can say as far as getting back together with your wife or not, is to ask you to go talk with a marriage counselor at your church. If you don’t go to church yet, hopefully you will soon after you understand what Jesus has done for you. Find a Bible-believing church and go talk with a professional marriage counselor about what you are to do in this situation. I truly believe that God’s heart is for you and your wife to seek Him and find healing, forgiveness, and restoration in your marriage.
 
In the meantime, I will be praying for you and your marriage.
 
If you have anymore questions, feel free to email me at Alex@toddbecker.org


04/22/2019
Anonymous:

My wife and I have been together since we were 15. Last year she had an affair. She did it because for several reasons I believe but one of those is because I chose to move with are son to my parents and she liked her job. She felt that was a betryal. But when. I tried to speak to her about it prior to that decisions she wouldn't. I did that because we got in to debt which is paid off now. I learned of the affair via email she sent to a family member. When she wanted me to come back with our son I said no and by then I facebooked the guy ( who she worked with). The guy decided to ghost her even at their work. The man was also married. After that she decided to sleep with two other men but didn't disclose that to me until Months later. For months I was saying let's work on us come to me because we couldn't afford where we use to live and she didnt and she played with my emotions by saying one week I love you then the next I hate you which now she says she was mad at herself and regrets everything. When. I was on suicide watch at the hospital she boasted about one of the men she slept with.she was also verbal and sometimes physically abusive in out relationship. She says now she wants you be better for me and our son. She says she love me but its not the same love. I know for a fact she isn't over me because I had a female friend over when she went to talk to our son and she lost her shit. Later calling it a moment of weakness. She is now moving closer to be closer to our son and I am going through divorce proceedings but I still love and care about her. I know most people will say get rid of her. Should I take her back if what she is saying about changing is true.

04/20/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who lost their dad:

We apologize for the lateness in replying! Our team has been on the road all week, so it's been hard to stay on top of things! 

It sounds like you are doing very memorable things to help you on your Dad's birthday. Those things really can help the people left behind who are grieving the loss.

Keith's family has done several different things to remember Todd. Visiting his grave, his parents sponsor a day on the local Christian radio station and one Christmas, Chinese lanterns were lit...things like that. Those things are not necessary, as it is not for the person that died, but rather it is for those of us who are left behind to help in our grieving process and help heal as we remmeber them in a special, memorable way. So, if it helps you heal, if it helps you in your grieving process, do as many memorable things as you can think of, to remember your Dad!

If you have any other questions, please feel free to email me anytime, as this anonymous answer board is not meant for continuing conversation. I would love to hear from you!


04/18/2019
Anonymous:

Hey I am the one who talked about losing their dad his birthday is tomorrow and were going to let bollons go and light a cupcake off. What do you do around your brothers birthday to remember him?

04/15/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who lost their Dad:

I am so, so sorry that you lost your Dad!  I can't imagine the ache and the pain you feel. I want to share what Keith wrote a while ago in answer to another student, regarding his brother dying:

"Death is always a struggle to cope with, no matter what the age or circumstances. But the truth of it is, tragedy and death are inevitable. 100% of all humans die. 

After my brother died, I really began to see the truth that some day I would die, just like my brother. So, one of the ways I began to cope with death is by seeking out the truth on what would happen to me after I would die. That's the point in my life that I began to honestly, and sincerely, read God's Word (the Bible). Naturally there were a lot of other emotions and struggles going on at that time, but for me it all came down to dealing with my sin and my rebellion from God so that I would know for certain that when I lay in that casket like my brother, I would be right with God and going to spend eternity in Heaven. 

I say this all to conclude that death is much different to cope with when you know where you're going when you die (Heaven or Hell). No, that doesn't mean that death is easy to deal with, but it does take away a lot of the grief and wondering when you know that the grave really is not the end. 

Have you considered where you will go when you die? If you haven't, I really encourage you to read Romans 3:20-26. This scripture gives a clear outline on how you can know you are right with God and going to Heaven, and not Hell (which is really the default destination for mankind)." - Keith

In answer to how do you forgive the one who took your father away from you:

The only way you can forgive this person, is to first experience the forgiveness of God for yourself in your own life. Every single one of us have sinned...we all fall short of God's standard. Yet, God offers us forgiveness...offers us freedom from our sins and past if we turn to Him.
Romans 3:23-24:
23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

I don't know where you're at on the road that Keith talked about. I don't know if you've ever given your life to Jesus, and chosen to follow Him. But I challenge you to really consider where you're at on that road. You can order Keith's "I Know" book free from this website, and I encourage you to read the first 5 chapters as soon as you get it. It explains very clearly on how to come to Jesus.

Unless you forgive the person who took your Dad from you, you will never experience true joy, freedom and peace. The anger and bitterness will eat away at you, and will destroy your life.  When you forgive someone, you are NOT SAYING that what that person did was OK. Not at all! Forgiveness is saying that you give that person to God, and are choosing to let God handle the situation, instead of you wanting to punish that person. Forgiveness is understanding that we ALL have sinned...obviously some not to the point of killing a person, but you need forgiveness from God for the wrong things you have done, just as the person who took your dad away needs forgiveness from God. It's different sin, but all sin separates us from God, and keeps us from heaven when we die unless we choose to accept God's forgiveness.

You can only truly forgive someone when you have the power from Jesus. When you choose to follow Him, He will lead you on a path to forgiving that person.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to email me anytime! becca@toddbecker.org

 


04/11/2019
Anonymous:

I was at the assembly today and I cried because the story spoke to me I lost my dad how did you forgive the boy who was driving in the crash your brother died in? My dad was killed is it wrong that I don't like the one who took my father away from me?

04/10/2019
tbftravis:
To Anonymous with questions about Heaven and the afterlife,

This is a deep question (I love it!!), and one that can be approached from many different angles. To better address your question, I want to start by suggesting we start with the question of who is Jesus Christ? As Christians our belief is that Jesus is God, and ultimately that is why he was killed, because he claimed to be God. So, I am going to tackle this question by using historical facts. We know that Jesus lived on this earth, that he died and rose again because of historical fact. Eye witness accounts back up the truth claims that Jesus made while on the earth.

We use the same method of proving historical fact, that historians use to arrive at truth when recording history. For example there is no one alive today that witnessed George Washington crossing the Delaware in 1776 and because eye witness accounts are the easiest way to prove something is true, we look to the writings of people who actually saw it, who can back up the fact that George Washington did in fact cross the Delaware.

Now using this same method, we can reason that Jesus was actually God. That many eye witness accounts saw Jesus rise from the grave.  Paul a great apostle of the Christian faith and writer of 2/3rds of the new testament hinges the whole Christian faith on whether Jesus rose from the grave in 1 Corinthians 15. Paul is making the case if you want to attack to truth of Christianity, this is the pillar that you must attack. It’s the one thing that would bring all of Christianity tumbling down, did Jesus rise from the grave? Answering this question then leads to if he really did rise from the dead then all of what he said is true. Jesus spent a lot of time talking about the afterlife, of heaven and hell and how to have a relationship with him. Then finally you can answer the question of how we know that there is a Heaven and Hell, because Jesus the Messiah, Savior, King of Kings and Lord of Lords says there is.

Now I know that I barley scratched the surface of proving this claim, but there are so many people that have devoted their lives to proving the Truth of Christianity and answering this question of who you say Jesus is, it is one of the biggest and most important questions you can answer in your life. Please don’t just take my word for it go out study it for yourself. Some great people that I would start with are Lee Strobel and his book “Case for Christ”. He tackles this very question; another great author would be Josh McDowell and his book “Evidence that Demands a Verdict”. William Lane Craig, Frank Turek, Ravi Zacharias, C. S. Lewis, and Dr. Michael Brown again all great people who have talked about, wrote and debated on the topics of arriving at the truth of Christianity. Once again, I highly encourage you to go out and seek answers to these questions and research for yourself.

I am willing to help you out in any way that I can on this journey that you are stepping into! Please feel free to post your questions here or email me personally at travis@toddbecker.org


04/07/2019
tbfemilyd :
Dear Grace,

It is so hard to have feelings for someone, especially when things aren’t going the way that you wish they were. I think that God allows things like this in our lives to reveal to us our need for love. He created us to desire love, and the amazing thing is He is the only one who can truly fulfill that need. Psalm 16:11 says, “in Your (God’s) presence there is fullness of joy.” God wants to show you His love for you and fill you with joy. 

But the fact is, our sin separates us from God. Romans 3:23 says, “all have sinned and fallen short of Gods glorious standards.” Matthew 5:48 says that God’s standards are perfection. We are not perfect, which means we have sinned, and we are separated from Him. 

The good news is that God in His love sent Jesus to die on the cross, and take our punishment upon Himself. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For God made Jesus, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Jesus.” 

God showed us what real love is through Jesus. It can be so easy to get caught up in our feelings and emotions toward boys, but they would never do for you what Jesus did. Instead of trying to make a relationship with a boy work, seek a relationship with God. Mathew 6:33 says, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” 

I hope that this helped you with your question. If you have any more questions about this you can email me at

 mday.sem.18@gmail.com


04/07/2019
Grace:

So, I'm kinda screwed. Been for a while now. I love this guy, and I told him a while ago. It worked for a while, then he told me that he lost feelings and that he just wasn't ready for a relationship and that he couldn't get over his fear of making a mistake. Now, it's months later, and he has (I'm pretty sure) moved on, and he believes I have too. I've been trying to convince myself that I have feelings for another friend of mine, and it hasn't been working. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me.

04/06/2019
Anonymous:

How do we know there is a heaven or a after life?

04/06/2019
tbfalex:
To Anonymous who wants to help your brother and sister,

First of all, thank you for reaching out to us! I am glad to hear that you were able to make it to our concert/event in Kingman this last week. We hope you enjoyed it.
 
I am sorry to hear that your parents were yelling at each other. I know seeing that happen can really bring hurt into someone’s life. Without more specific details it is hard to answer your question directly, but in general I would say that helping your siblings know that God loves them is a good place to start. Unfortunately, the world that we live in is broken because of sin. We, as humans, have turned our back on God and have decided to go our own way. But then what did God do? “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that anyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
 
God loves us and desires that we turn away from our sins and trust alone in Jesus. Why do we trust in Jesus? Because Jesus came to earth, lived a sinless life, was crucified on the cross to pay for our sins, and then rose again defeating death. (Romans 5:25, 1 Peter 2:22-24) Jesus is alive and wants to have a relationship with you personally! He also wants a relationship with your siblings! There is nothing better than that. Jesus is always there for those who trust in Him, and He will never leave nor forsake them.
 
If you have more specific details I would gladly help answer any other questions you may have if you email me directly. Otherwise, I hope you will realize that, as sad as it is, people oftentimes get mad at each other and do things they regret. Be sure to forgive your parents if they have hurt you in anyway, and also remember to be in the Bible to know God better! Start by looking up the verses I referenced. If you don’t have a Bible let me know, and I will send you one completely free!
 
Feel free to email me at Alex@toddbecker.org


04/03/2019
Anonymous:

Me and my little brother went to the chye concert in kingman but when we got home my mom and dad were yelling 

how can i help my brothers and sister calm


04/02/2019
tbftravis:
To Anonymous,

I’m so glad that my answer helped you! If you have anymore questions please feel free to email me at Travis@toddbecker.org


03/29/2019
Anonymous:

To travis, Thank you for responding I have checked daily every hour for a reply and have lost very much sleep over this and I have I'm trying to turn my life around, for me , my family and the lord and will continue to keep trying. Thank you very much again, your response is greatly appreciated. And I'm sorry for posting another question I just wanted to tell you THANK YOU.

03/28/2019
tbftravis:
To Anonymous with questions about forgiveness

This is a great question, thanks for taking time to ask it. If I understand the question. correctly  you are referring to Mark 3:29 and Matthew 12:32. For the sake of time I’m going to focus on Mark 3:29. I’m going to quote from the New Living Translation “but anyone who blasphemes the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven. This is a sin with eternal consequences.” (Another word for blasphemes is insult or disrespect to God) To understand this passage context is crucial. If we read verses 22-28 we see that Jesus is talking to the scribes (teachers of religious law). The scribes make a radical statement challenging the authority of Jesus. You see, they claimed that Jesus was casting out demons because he had a demon. Jesus quickly corrects this illogical thinking by asking a well placed question “How can Satan cast out Satan?” Ok now we know context and with that I want to focus on verse 28. It says this “I tell you the truth, all sin and blasphemy can be forgiven,” What Jesus means is all sin and blasphemy from which you genuinely repent of can be forgiven.The beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ is anyone who repents or turns from their sin can be forgiven (Mark 1:14-15, Mark 4:12, 6:12 and Acts 2:38,5:21). It has always seemed to me that there is something about blaspheming the Spirit as Jesus intended us to understand it that has brought a person to the point where they are sinning in such a way that they are unwilling and unable to repent and believe.
Now to answer your question I want to ask a question, have you turned from your sins and followed after Jesus believing that he is Messiah, Lord of Lord and King of King’s? If so, you can rejoice because Christ has dealt with the punishment of your sin on the cross.  travis@toddbecker.org


03/25/2019
Anonymous:

I have been trying for a while now to get my life together and learn more about god, jesus and heaven but all I can think about is a time when I was younger I said something that contained "holy ghost" I had no idea what I was talking about or that it was as bad as it is to say that... can I be forgiven for something I had no idea I was saying? If i could i would go back to change it I've felt terrible ever since i found out what I was talking about.

03/23/2019
tbfmatt:
Ellie,

The best thing you could possibly do is read what Christians call the 4 Gospels (titled Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). These 4 books in the Bible are documentary styled eyewitness accounts of the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. It’s important to ask this question: Are the claims that the Bible makes true? 

I would encourage you to start researching on something simple like the brutal execution of Jesus called the crucifixion. It is one of the most well documented events in ancient history! Yet some claim it didn’t happen and that Jesus wasn’t real. Many claim that Jesus never rose from the dead after he was killed. The problem with all of these skeptic views is that it doesn’t correspond with the facts that are set before us. There are accounts written by people outside of the Bible who were not Christians who did not support Jesus, that talk about Jesus doing miracles, healing the sick, and rising from the dead. For historians to summarily dismiss these sources because it doesn’t fit in to their close minded worldview (atheism or humanism) isn’t a scientific approach to conducting thorough research, it’s leaving out very important prices of evidence. 

The fact is there is a mountain of evidence to support the claims that Bible makes. Wether it be historical, scientific, or philosophical. There is so much to look at. Here is a link to look at more of the evidence supporting the claims made by the Bible!  https://crossexamined.org/

My encouragement to you would be to honestly search for Truth. Read the Gospels, Follow the evidence where it leads. If you truly are looking for truth you will find it. It says in one of the Gospels called Luke this statement, ”For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. - Luke 11:10 

Having looked at the facts myself and having done the hard work of research I can tell you with confidence that The only logical explanation for life and love is found in the Bible. I do not believe in blind faith I have a reason to believe in God. The fact is, God wants a relationship with you. He created you so that you could know Him and be with Him. I will leave you with this question 

What will happen to you after you die?

I would really love to continue this conversation over email!  

matt@toddbecker.org
 


03/19/2019
Ellie:

Dear Foundation,

I've been an athiest all my life, simply because of how my family has raised me and because they've been the same way. But I've always been intrigued by Jesus.. I don't want to be athiest anymore. Where do I start?


03/14/2019
tbfbecca:

To Anonymous still hoping for a guy to love her:

I’m so sorry that your heart is still being hurt by this situation.  I am glad you wrote in, because it is not healthy for your heart to be experiencing such deep emotion for such a long time over this guy.

It’s so important to listen to others around you. That’s the first warning sign to me. When you say that others say you could do better. Others can always see more clearly into your situation than you can, because they are looking at the situation clearly, without the cloud of emotions.  Your emotions are so intense, it’s hard for you to look at the situation clearly.

Secondly, have you ever considered that God may be protecting you from something? Sometimes we want something so bad, and finally God allows us to have it, but it ends up destroying us. That is never God’s heart...but He made us humans with a free will and He allows us to make our own decisions.

Thirdly, I encourage you to stay away from romance movies, romance fiction books, love songs for a while. Those can do really bad things for our hearts when we want to be with someone.  It can skew our vision, make us confused and make it so all we want is “love”.

Fourthly, I don’t know if you have a relationship with Jesus, but I want to encourage you to guard your heart against idolatry. Idolatry is when you put someone in your heart above God. How do you know if you have  an idol? If you think about that person more than God and you would do anything to get with that person. Exodus 20:2 (one of the Ten Commandments) says: “You shall have no other gods (idols) before me.”

I know this is tough to hear, but I really hope you will take time to really consider your heart and evaluate if any of these things are warning signs to you. Please do feel free to email me anytime! I’d love to hear from you! becca@toddbecker.org
 


03/14/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who wants to speak:

Thank you for your question!  I’m not for sure if you already have the opportunity to speak, or you want to speak. Whichever it is, I want to encourage you to first be faithful in the little things.

Luke 16:10 says: “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

First, be a friend to everyone around you. Be kind to the people that no on else wants to be around. Love those who are hard to love. Go out of your way to do nice things for people that no one even likes.
That is being faithful in the small things!

Second, if you or when you do have an opportunity to speak, sharing real life stories is the best way to gain people’s attention. Tell your own story, or tell another person’s story (with permission of course).

Third, the best way to lead others to Christ is first by example. Do others know that Jesus is #1 in your life by the way you live?  Also, read the Bible every day!  It is hard to share the Gospel unless God’s Word is planted deep in your heart!  Start by reading Romans!

Then ask Jesus who He wants you to share Him with. Look for ways to share God’s truth in a loving way.

If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to email me! becca@toddbecker.org
 


03/14/2019
tbfjoana :
To the anonymous dealing with hard memories,

Being the victim of a sexual assault case is hard, and it is even harder to deal with when the man who did it is in your family. I'm so incredibly sorry that this happened to you, and under no circumstances does it make it okay for anyone to do that to anyone. The memories that you are having are a hard thing to stop having, but it is possible.

The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:14-15 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." To hear that you need to forgive your father for the terrible thing he did to you is hard and you might think he doesn't deserve it. On the same note, we don't deserve to be forgiven for the things we have done against God, but that is a huge part of the beauty of God sending His perfect son, Jesus, down to die for our sins. Or the terrible things we have done against Him so we can receive God's forgiveness. The Bible explains it to us in, 1 Peter 3:18 " Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but He died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit. "



Just like Matthew 6 says we need to forgive others who have sinned or done bad things to us, so in return, God can forgive us for the things we have done against Him.  Forgiveness does not mean that you are saying what your father did was okay, or right, but it is fully giving up that pain to God and letting Him take it from you.
In time with you forgiving your father for his actions and giving it to God the memories will stop. Again I am sorry to hear this happen to you and my heart breaks for you!
Please if you would like to talk about this more or have any more question please reach out to me at

joana@toddbecker.org
 


03/13/2019
Anonymous:

Dear anyone who' willing to listen,

I'm sad. Literally. It's because of a man. I love him, more than he'll ever know. But I know he's never going to feel the same for me. Everybody keeps telling me that I can do a lot better than him, but for me, there's nobody better for me. We were together for a few months, but he realized he couldn't commit to me in the way I wanted. 3 years have passed, and I still love him. What do I do?


03/13/2019
Mylee :

how do I speak in front of some many people about self worth suicide and bullying! How can I help someone know God? 

03/13/2019
Anonymous:

how do I speak in front of 1000 kids about bullying self worth and suicide? What do I do if someone wants to know God personally? How can I help them? 

03/13/2019