Anonymous Answers


Life's tough, it's not easy. This is the place where you can ask us any question, get anything off your mind and tell us your story. We'll do our best to respond quickly.

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tbfalex:

To anonymous wondering about suicide,
 
I am so sorry to hear about the heartache this suicide must have brought to you and your family. I have personally known 3 people in my life, whom I looked up to, who made this terrible decision to take their own life. Again, I am sorry to hear about your uncle.
 
Let me start off by saying this: I have been asked this question before, and I have personally asked myself this question many times. If you commit suicide will you automatically go to hell? Frankly, I cannot say that I have, or anyone else has, a definite answer to this question. We simply do not know how God will judge those who have murdered themselves. We must remember that God is the judge and decides where we will go for eternity. He is the one who will make that decision, not us.
 
Here’s what I do know. The Bible promises that anyone who trusts in Jesus will have eternal life. (John 3:16) So the bigger question is, did your uncle trust in Jesus? Your uncle may have gone to church, prayed occasionally, etc, but did he have a relationship with Jesus?
 
Those questions may be hard to answer, but I want you to honestly think about what I am going to write next.
 
Life is the most precious gift God has given us. God created us in His own image (Genesis 1:27), and He takes it very seriously when someone takes that life away. With that being said, I would never want to be a person who stands before God after I have just taken my own life.
 
With all of this, I want to reiterate that I do not have a “Yes” or “No” answer to this question, and I don’t think anyone else does either because there is not, to my knowledge, any scripture in the Bible that speaks directly to this issue. But I do know that God wants you to be certain about where you will go when you die. Have you trusted in Jesus yet? If you’d like to know more about doing that or if you have more questions, please email me at Alex@toddbecker.org


10/09/2019
Anonymous:

If someone comits suicide do they go to heaven or hell? I want to know where my uncle went.

10/08/2019
tbfaaron:
To anonymous with a changed life:

What an awesome statement! Thank you for letting us know that you have a life that has been changed! We appreciate the credit, but we are so grateful that God used us! All Glory goes to Him! 

If you have anything else you want to talk about or any questions, please feel free to email me at aaron@toddbecker.org


10/07/2019
Anonymous:

I just want to thank you guys for changing my life 

10/06/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who is asking about reading stories in the Bible that interest them:

Heavens yes! :) Please do read stories in the Bible that interest you! If you have a smart phone, I encourage you to get the "Holy Bible" app. It is a brown book that says Holy Bible on it. It has a ton of plans that you can follow when reading the Bible...all sorts of different translations to read...the New Living Translation and the Passion Translation are some easy to read and understand translations. 

When I'm reading the Bible, I like to read a little bit from the Old Testament (beginning of the Bible) Psalms and Proberbs (middle of the Bible) and New Testament (end of the Bible). Sometimes on busy days, I just  read several verses and really meditate (think hard) on those verses to see how I can apply them to my life. 

So, no matter where you read, the important thing is that you're reading God's Word!

James 1:22 says:
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Psalm 119:9
How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.

Luke 11:28
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Psalm 18:30
As for God, his way is perfect:
The Lord’s word is flawless;
he shields all who take refuge in him.

Matthew 7:24
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Reading God's Word will give you wisdom as you journey this life! Please feel free to email me if you have any questions!
becca@toddbecker.org


10/03/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who is depressed, anxious and has no one to talk to:

I'm so glad that you posted! That is the first step to reaching out for help!

Now, the most important thing you can do, is to reach out to someone local. Talk to a trusted, teacher, local pastor, school counselor, trusted adult, your parents! Share with them what you are feeling. Sometimes we have to reach out to others when we feel like we don't have anyone to talk to. Take a courageous step...talk to your school counselor. Talk to a local pastor...even if you don't know them, it's important to reach out to people who can help you!  Depression only gets worse when we keep it to ourself. We need others to come alongside of us to encourage us, give us hope and give us wisdom for the journey.

I don't know if you have begun a relationship with Jesus. But I do know that all of us have a God shaped hole in our hearts, that only He can fill with His love and peace. LIfe is hard, and we need Jesus to help us through it. We need His peace and joy. I would love to talk with your more about beginning a relationship with Jesus.  Also, I really encourage you to order Keith's free "I Know" book from this website, and start reading it as soon as you can. It will answer a lot of your questions!

Philippians 4:8 says:
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Focus on your thoughts. What are you thinking? Guard your thoughts! Don't let your mind dwell on things that are not true. Start reading your Bible to see what God thinks about you! He created you, and has a big plan for your life! You are not worthless!

Deuteronomy 31:8 say:
8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Please feel free to email me if you have more questions! But I for sure encourage you to do what I wrote above...be bold, be brave, and take big action steps to get healthy again in your mind!

Email me anytime! becca@toddbecker.org


10/03/2019
tbfbecca:
To Anonymous who feels like their parents don't care:

I'm so sorry that you're going through these feelings. That is so tough! I want to encourage you to do the following:

1. Ask your parents when would be a good time to sit down for a meeting with you and them. Schedule one if you have to, and share with them in a calm way how you are feeling. Don't make it a time of accusing them. Rather say things like: "You might not be aware, but this is how I feel."

2. Talk to a trusted adult, maybe it's a trusted teacher, a school counselor, a local pastor, a friend's parent. Don't keep things to yourself. Find someone you can trust, and talk to them.

3. I don't know if you have a relationship with Jesus, but He definitely loves you and wants to have  a relationship with you. I want to encourage you to order Keith's "I Know" book from this website. It's free. Read the first five chapters as soon as you get it. It will share more about starting a relationship with Jesus.

Psalm 27:10 says: 
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD (Jesus) will hold me close.

Please feel free to email me anytime if you need to talk or have more questions! becca@toddbecker.org


10/03/2019
Anonymous:

Is it ok to read bible storys that interest me when i read the bible

10/02/2019
Anonymous:

I have really bad depression but no one to talk to.   

10/02/2019
Anonymous:

How can I stop worring about my depression and anxiety?

10/02/2019
Anonymous:

I feel like my parents don’t care.  I try to tell them how I feel and they just brush it off 

10/02/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous questioning the meaning of life:

What a great question! Thank you for taking the time to post your question.

One of our team members answered this very same question, and below is their response.

The meaning of life and finding our purpose can be found in the Bible, and this might seem like a long answer, but please read on. Just know that these things I am telling you will help you to understand what the ultimate meaning of life is. 

If you haven't ever heard of Adam and Eve, the first man and first woman, I will tell you about them briefly. God created them to live on earth and worship Him and take care of the earth. Soon after they were created, however, they disobeyed God and ate fruit from a tree that He had instructed them not to eat from (Genesis Chapter 3). This disobedience is called sin. Sin separates man and woman from God. We today have this same "original sin" as it is called, and are no longer holy in God's eyes (Romans 5:12-21). The problem with this sin is that we can no longer spend eternity with God because of this separation. God requires us to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 15-16). In fact, God's word says that because of our sin, after we die we are destined for an eternity in hell (Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death…" and 2 Peter 2:4). 

I know by now you might be asking yourself "What does this have to do with the meaning of life?" Just hold on, keep reading, and let me explain further. 

This sin issue leaves us helpless on our own, because there is nothing we can do to rid ourselves of sin. If the wages of sin is death as Romans 6:23 says, then we have to pay the penalty for our sin, right? Yes, but there is a way out, keep reading. God's word says in Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." Jesus Christ came to this earth and died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin (1 Peter 3:18 "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God."). Now, this is good stuff, but if you live your life and say, "Awesome, Jesus died for me, I'm good now!" and continue to live your life in sin and rebellion to God, you will not be saved from eternity in hell! God's word says in Romans 6:1-2 "What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" 

The Bible outlines in Romans 10:9-11,13 how one may come to surrender their life to Jesus Christ. I encourage you to read through the scriptures I have mentioned and examine your life. Ask yourself, "Do I have Jesus In my life? Am I following after Jesus?" If not, I would encourage you to surrender your life to Jesus today. 

The reason I have spent so much time on this subject is because that's it. Jesus, He is the meaning in this life. Paul said in Philippians 3:7-9 "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..." Our purpose in this life is to glorify and honor God and live our lives surrendered to Him alone. Through Him is found true purpose, direction, meaning, and hope. Nothing in this world will satisfy you, only Jesus can do that. 

I believe that the above paragraphs answer your other question; God does care for you, He does like you. He sent His son to die on the cross for your sins. Do you understand the depth of love that it would take to sacrifice your own son for someone else to be saved?

If you have any other questions, please feel free to email me anytime! Becca@toddbecker.org


09/18/2019
Anonymous:

what is the meaning of life??

09/18/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous who is feeling stressed about college:

First of all, I am SO sorry it has taken us so long to respond to your question!

I am so glad that you reached out for help!

I clearly remember my first semester of college, and how overwhelming it seemed at first with all of the new systems of doing things and all of the assignments. I want to encourage you to do a few things that I promise will help if you just do them.

1. Go talk to your professors right away. Explain to them exactly what you just told me. Tell them you want to succeed in their class. Ask them for a game plan to help you succeed.

2. Most colleges/universities have tutors available in all different programs. Ask if there are tutors available for your subject areas, and don't be afraid to meet with a tutor. Smart people meet with tutors. Not dumb people.

3. Are you too busy? Do you need to limit outside activities? Job? Extracurricular activities?

4. Are you taking too many classes? Maybe you need to drop a class now (if you hurry, it won't be too late, so you won't get a failing grade).

Colossians 3:23-24 says:
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Isaiah 41:13 says:
For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand,
Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.

So, I promise you, if you take the above steps and most importantly, if you cry out to God for help, you will notice a difference!

Please email me if you need any other help! I'd love to talk with you!
becca@toddbecker.org


09/18/2019
Anonymous:

I need some advice or something. I feel so stressed about college. I procrastinated for a good two weeks in the being of school and know Im playing catch up and I gotta say it sucks. I feel like I'm not going to pass any of my classes because I get so stressed out with the work I put wrong answers in and just turn it in. Its causing even more stress that I'm doing that, and it make me feel like I'm going to fail. Even though its just the being of the semester. I don't know what to do anymore. If who have any type of advice please let me know straight away. I feel so stressed.

09/15/2019
Anonymous:

I need some advice or something. I feel so stressed about college. I procrastinated for a good two weeks in the being of school and know Im playing catch up and I gotta say it sucks. I feel like I'm not going to pass any of my classes because I get so stressed out with the work I put wrong answers in and just turn it in. Its causing even more stress that I'm doing that, and it make me feel like I'm going to fail. Even though its just the being of the semester. I don't know what to do anymore. If who have any type of advice please let me know straight away. I feel so stressed.

09/15/2019
tbfbecca:
To anonymous asking about having sex before marriage:

Thank you so much for caring enough to ask this important question! I'm so sorry that it has taken us a while to respond!

This is a question that many people wrestle with. The verse that you shared is unfortunately, taken out of context. Reading the Bible in context means reading the verses before and after it, so we can understand the whole teaching clearly.

1 Corinthians 7:25-30

25 Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. 26 Because of the present crisis,[b] I think it is best to remain as you are. 27 If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married. 28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.
29 But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. 30 Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions.

What Paul is saying during that time that because the times were so difficult for Christians, he encouraged them to remain single, and not pursue marriage. However, he said that if you do get married, it's not a sin. He did not mean that if you have sex with your boyfriend and then get married, the sex was not a sin. He meant that it is best to remain single during that time, and that if you do end up getting married, the marriage is not a sin. He was not referring to sex before marriage. So if we make it about sex before marriage, and make it say what we want it to say, that is very dangerous and is a sin. 

Deuteronomy 4:2
"You shall not add to the word which I am commanding you, nor take away from it, that you may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you."

Proverbs 30:6
Do not add to His words Or He will reprove you, and you will be proved a liar.

In regards to sex before marriage, the Bible is clear that sex outside of marriage is immorality. This does not mean that you can have sex before marriage if you know that you will marry that person. You are still outside of marriage. You are not in marriage covenant, until you are married in the eyes of God and the state. (in front of a justice of the peace, or a pastor, with a marriage certificate that is recognized by your state)

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God….”

1 Corinthinas 6:18-20

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

I understand that this is very hard, especially when you love someone. But just because it's hard, doesn't mean that we can give into the temptation. I want to encourage you to stand strong and flee the temptation because it will be so worth it to not give into the temptation. 

Please feel free to email me anytime! I would love to encourage you in this! I'm here for you! Email me anytime!
becca@toddbecker.org



 


08/29/2019
Anonymous:

Is it wrong to have sex with your BF but you know that you're definitely going to marry each other.. Because in 1 Corinthians 7 : 27-28 it says that "But if you do get married, it is not a sin " Thank you.

08/27/2019
tbfemilyd :
Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for reaching out with your question!

To start, and I don’t mean to be too blunt, but it sounds as though you are feeling guilty already because you had done something behind your parents’ back. I’ve been there! I’ve also felt that feeling like you can’t confess something in fear of getting in trouble or letting someone down. But, friend, God calls us to live in the light, that means that we are completely exposed, and open! That is a scary thing when we have sin in our life, or something we don’t want anyone else to know, we want to stay in the darkness where no one can see and hide it! But, God wants us in the light, not to shame us, but to protect us from letting sin rule over us in the darkness! 

“So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John‬ ‭1:6-7‬)

Because God is in the light, if you say you know God, that is where you should be. And it says, it is when we confess our sin, that we come into the light, and He will forgive us! So, it will start by confessing to God, by acknowledging that you have sinned against him by not honoring your parents’ authority as He has commanded. The, go to your parents and confess that you have lied to them and apologize for your mistake. Don’t let fear of what will happen control what you do, don’t let fear of being exposed keep you from forgiveness and freedom from your guilt!

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” (1 John‬ ‭1:9‬)

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” (James‬ ‭5:16‬)

If you have any more questions, don’t hesitate to ask by emailing me at

emilyd@toddbecker.org


08/03/2019
Anonymous:

Hey! Thanks so much for being here and listening to my little dilemma! So...... I got myself into a bit of a troubling situation. A few years ago, without my parents knowledge I got a Twitter account. And I've been using it ever since. Under normal circumstances, I would just delete the account, confess to my parents, and be done with it. However, there's a complication. The few years I've had it, I've developed a strong friendship with a fellow Christian guy (and by friendship I do mean platonic friendship. Not only am I straight, but I also hold to a traditional Biblical view of marriage. Just wanted to clear that up. I know sometimes when someone says they're developing"a strong friendship online" it can be misleading. Lol). He's helped grow me so much in my faith and as a person, and I've been there to help him through some really rough things lately. Because of this, I'm now too far in to simply walk away from the account, but at the same time I don't want to keep living a lie- and I'm also afraid continuing to live this lie will threaten my salvation (I believe Paul mentions in 1 Corinthians 6 believers living such a life will not inherit the kingdom of God). I want to be able to reconcile both things, but I'm not sure how my parents will react and so can't be sure of that happening. What would you recommend I do? (I'm 18 if it helps give you any more context)

08/02/2019
tbfbecca:
To Josie questioning whether a boy likes her:

I'm so sorry that it has taken me a while to get back to you!

You definitely are not alone! Your question is a question that many girls wrestle with!

But the real questions are these:

1. Are you at an age where your parents allow you to date?

2. Is this boy someone who will point you to Jesus (encourage you in your walk with God)?

If you answer yes to the above questions, then it's a great idea to talk with your parents about this boy. If you have their blessing to get to know him, I encourage you to talk with this boy, and ask him exactly what he feels so you are not wondering or jumping to conclusions.

However, I do encourage everyone to wait to date until they are out of high school. Dating in high school brings too much pressure and temptation.  I always tell girls that I never dated in high school, and I was still married at age 20!

If you have any further questions or would like to talk more, please feel free to email me anytime! becca@toddbecker.org


07/30/2019
tbfaaron:
To anonymous struggling with pornography,

First of all, thank you so much for coming here to ask this question. You are on the right track and by admitting it, I can see that the Holy Spirit is working on your heart. It takes a lot of humility to own up to our sins sometimes. 

This is a big issue because many sins are so easy to get trapped into, but with technology at our fingertips, we are able to access pornography nearly instantly and it can overtake us so, so easily. 

Since I don't know where you are at with the Lord, I want to address this in a couple of ways.

1. If you haven't made a commitment to repent of your sins and follow Jesus Christ with your life, there is never going to be a better decision you make in your life. If you would like to go deeper into what that all means, please email me and we can definitely talk more about that.

2. The rest of this post, I'm going to take the stance that you have, in fact, committed your life to Jesus and therefore claim to be a Christian. If this is the case then we should always look to the Bible to see what God says about the situations that we are in, how to deal with sin and how to be free from it, so let's look to the Bible.

The reason that you posted on here is because of your feelings of guilt and shame about viewing pornography. But is it a sin?

Matthew 5:27,28 says, "You have heard the commandment that says, 'You must not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

In this verse, Jesus is referring to one of the ten commandments that says 'You must not commit adultery.' Adultery is usually defined as someone who cheats on their husband or wife, but Jesus takes it a step higher in a sense and says that it's not only the physical act of adultery but more importantly, it's a matter of the heart. So yes, it's a sin, but it's even deeper than we tend to think because it's more about where your heart is than what you're physically doing. 

So how do we deal with it? If you continue in this section, verse 29 says, "So if your eye--even your good eye--causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand--even your stronger hand--causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your bodythan for your whole body to be thrown into hell." 

Jesus says gives a very clear and strong illustration here that we should get rid of whatever is causing us to sin. That's how seriously God takes sin. Obviously, in Jesus time, they didn't have printed magazines and definitely not phones or computers, so the most realistic and clear thing for him to teach about was your eyes or hands. It gets right to the point. So I've often asked others when I'm discussing this sin of pornography, if you were viewing this in a magazine and you wanted so badly to quit, what would you do with the magazines? Throw them away or even burn them, right? We are so much more attached to our cell phones or computers that we decide that it's not worth it to get rid of them. I'm not telling you to destroy your phone or computer, but I am asking you what is more important to you? Your eternal salvation or your electronics? 

On top of all of this 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to "Run from sexual immorality."  Sexual sin is such a hard thing to overcome in a world that constantly uses sex to market products or get high ratings on a show or many other things, but the Bible also tells us that we have the power to overcome it. 

In Philippians 2, Paul tells us, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."  When we come to Christ and make Him Lord (the ruler) of our life, He promises us the power to turn away or run from things like pornography or any other sins. The power that raised Jesus from the dead is the same power that can live in us.

To address the last part of your question, "I'm also scared that I'm going to go to hell for it." I'm not here to let you know if you are or aren't going to Hell, let God's word do that. If you've made a commitment to Christ and made him Lord and are living for Him every day, the Bible says that we have an assurance of salvation because Jesus has paid the penalty for our sin. This doesn't give us an excuse to sin, but we are free from the penalty of sin because of what Jesus has done.

I hope this has helped you answer some of your questions.

Lastly, I want to recommend some sort of software for you look at getting on your phone/computer called 'covenant eyes'. It's a unique system that will have you get an accountability partner and every time you look at something inappropriate it will send an email to that person that will be able to encourage and call you out. It is something that has changed so many lives.

If you have more questions about my post or the software or anything else please feel free to email me at aaron@toddbecker.org  


07/29/2019
Anonymous:

I keep commiting the same sin every once in a while even though I know that it is wrong. I’m really ashamed of myself because I’m looking at pornagraphy. I don’t know how to stop myself from commiting the sin again. I’m also scared that I’m going to go to hell for it. 

07/28/2019
Josie:

So, there's this guy. We all went out bowling as a group, and we hung out a lot there, then we hung out on the ride back, and he kept teasing me. On the walk home, he grabs mypurse, so that we're both holding it and refuses to let go, and he always teases me and pokes me or puts his hands on my shoulders or tickles me. He loves sitting with me too. I like this guy, romantically. Do you think he returns those feelings?

07/28/2019
tbfjoana:
To the anonymous struggling with sadness,

First of all thank you for reaching out, my heart hurts for what happened to you. I know it’s not an easy thing to live with!  I would also like to say  that, NO you shouldn’t blame yourself for something you didn’t do and had no control over. When hard things happen to us we want to let out our anger, sadness, and bitterness in anyway possible.   What happened to you was not right, and your trying to deal with that hurt by physically and mentally hurting yourself. 

There is so much hurt in this world but know that the Lord cares for you. 
Psalm 34:18 says
  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
       he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Isolation and cutting yourself might seem like a solution right now but it will not fix your trauma (hurt) from what happened. 
Know that this world is filled with hurt and darkness, that is not at all what the Lord intend for it to be. The Bible explains that He made the world perfect, but we sinned against Him and that brought hurt, pain, and darkness. We can read that in
Romans 5:15  
        But there is a great difference between Adam’s sin and God’s gracious gift. For the sin of this one man, Adam, brought death to many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of forgiveness to many through this other man, Jesus Christ. 

Adams sin brought death, but God gracious gift brought forgiveness, hope, and life.
God wants for us to have hope and life. And I know that might be hard to find right now. But know that I would like to connect with  to you, and talk a little bit more about what your are going through! Please feel free to email me at 

Joana@toddbecker.org 



 


07/22/2019