Anonymous Answers


Life's tough, it's not easy. This is the place where you can ask us any question, get anything off your mind and tell us your story. We'll do our best to respond quickly.

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Anonymous:

I am the one who is bullied and hit by my dad and I want to thank you Alayna for what you wrote. I don't trust many adults because of my dad. If God doesn't want us to walk alone, then why does he put all the bad on us? Why doesn't he protect me from people who hurt me?

11/19/2017
tbfalayna:

To anonymous who is bullied and looking for God in the midst of it all,

I’m glad you reached out for help! I️ want to help and encourage you as best I️ can, but if you’re in a dangerous situation please talk to an adult you trust!

I’m so sorry you’re facing all these things all at once, and I️ want to assure you that God does love you so much and is walking beside you through this tough time! Psalm 34:18 explains, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

God uses hard times in our lives to get our attention back on Him. He wants us to seek Him and trust in His plan as we get to know him. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” When you’re physically and emotionally broken, and no one around seems to care, your own perspective looks very hopeless. Please know that God’s perspective is far bigger than anything you and I can see and He will give you hope. Genesis 50:20 talks about a man named Joseph who’s own family was even hurting him. It says, “As for you, you meant these evil things against me, but God meant it for good...”

What you heard Keith say is exactly right - God has you here for a reason and you are not a mistake. The evil that happens in this world and to you is not from God, but from Satan. The bullying and abuse you face are evil that began when sin first started with Adam and Eve. You’re bullied, lonely, and hurting, but Jesus came to our evil world to defeat the darkness! John 3:16 says, “For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only son (Jesus), that whoever BELIEVES in him will not perish (in Hell) but have eternal life (in Heaven).” *with emphasis

As you face these trials, there are two options: turn to other broken things/people in the world around to fill you, or turn to God who is perfect and far above us to give you hope through it all. When you’ve reached the end of what you can see to do, God is there to comfort, protect, and provide. You have to TRUST Him to do that.

Trusting God does not mean you will be free from the hard things in life. Trusting God means that you will endure these hard times with confidence - knowing that God will prove his goodness and love in your life.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” In that verse, focus on the part that says, “those who love God”. God loves all people and He doesn’t want to see suffering, not all people love God.

Are you trusting God to help you through this time? Do you love God and show him by your actions? Are you seeking Him? These questions don’t fix the problem of the bullies and your dad, but I want you to encourage you that as you pursue and love God, he will give you hope - hope that gives eternal life!

If you have a teacher, pastor, or youth group leader in your life that you trust - please go talk with them too. God doesn’t want us to walk through hard times alone! I pray this is helpful, and please email me if you have ANY questions!

alayna@toddbecker.org
 


11/17/2017
Anonymous:

Everything in my life the past couple of years has been bad. Now I am thinking of what to do. I am in high school and I get bullied pretty bad and no one cares, then I go home and my dad hits me. No one cares enough to even talk to me. I went to Maddison yesturday and listened to what you Keith said. He said that we where all here for a reason, we are not mistakes. Then why is everything going bad. If God says he loves me, why is he not helping me? I am depressed, I have cuts all over. I thought he was supposed to help us.

11/16/2017
tbfjessica:

To Anonymous who can’t find God,
 
Thank you for asking your question.  I’m glad you reached out and searched for answers, because I know questions like these can be hard to ask. 
 
Many times, people assume that when they can’t feel God or at least feel connected to Him, it means He’s left us and moved on to something else.  I want you to know that you are not alone when you feel this way, all Christians go through times like this quite often.  We even find examples in the Bible where people felt abandoned by God, like Psalm 22 written by Kind David, which starts out saying, “My God, my God, why have You abandoned me?  Why are You so far away when I groan for help?  Every day I call to You, my God, but You do not answer.  Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.”  During these times, we feel like either we have done something wrong to turn God away, or we feel that God has given up on us and just moved on.  However, this is not what God completely contradicts this in His Word.  Matthew 28:20 gives us a promise from Jesus that says, “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  Also, Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us that God will neither fail us nor abandon us, which is repeated in Deuteronomy 31:8 and Hebrews 13:5.
 
Because of these promises, we can know that God is always with us, even when we can’t feel Him.  During these times, we need to be careful not to follow what our emotions tell us.  We need to “walk by faith,” meaning trusting in His promises and pressing on, even when we can’t feel Him.  
 
What I encourage you to do is continues praying, laying your heart out to God.  Tell Him all of your doubts, your fears, your struggles.  Ask Him for help in your day-to-day life.  Thank Him for all He has done in your life and the blessings He’s given you.  We’re told in Philippians 4:6 not to, “worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” 
 
In addition to praying, read your Bible.  Satan loves to feed you lies during this time when God feels distant.  The best way I’ve found to fight the devil is with God’s word.  Memorize verses that speak to you during this time.  You can use any of the ones listed above, or read the Bible and seek out more that might speak directly to your heart.
 
As a last word of encouragement, I want to go back to the first verses I shared from Psalm 22.  These verses sound very desperate and hopeless.  However, in the very next chapter, written by the same author, we read in verse 4, “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me.  Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me.”  Even though this time may seem hopeless and lonely to you, know that God will lead you out of this valley, just like He did for King David. 
 
If you have any more questions, or want to talk about this further, please email me anytime at

jessica@toddbecker.org


11/04/2017
tbfjessica:

To Anonymous who wants to find themselves,
 
First of all, I want to thank you for seeking an answer to your question.  I think everyone faces this question at one time or another, but it’s usually pushed down and never explored.  I want to commend you for taking the courage to ask it.
 
The answer to this question can only be found by seeking God.  In order to find yourself, you must first find God.  See, God has offered us a gift and everyone who accepts it also receives purpose and meaning in their life.
 
The gift God offered was His Son, Jesus Christ.  Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”  That tells us that, because of our sin, we deserve Spiritual death, or Hell.  But God offered another option, that is Spiritual life, or Heaven, through Jesus Christ.  Romans 5:8 tells us that, “God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”  Because Jesus died, He took the punishment we deserved for our sin and, we are now able to live with Him in Heaven, if we accept His gift and put Him as Lord of our life.
 
If you have accepted this gift, then you can also know who you are.
 
First, you are loved.  In Romans 8, verses 38 and 39, we read, “And I am conviced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.  Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the power of Hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  And as Romans 5:8 says, it’s because of that love that God sent His Son to die for us. 
 
Second, you are saved.  Ephesians 2:8 tells us, “God saved you by His grace when you believed.  And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” God found a way for us to be with Him in Heaven rather than Hell, where we deserve to go for our sins, which means we are now part of His kingdom.  
 
Third, you are a child of God.  We know this because John 1:12 says, “But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God,” Galatians 3:26 says, “For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus,” and many, many more verses in the Bible reiterate this.
 
And fourth, you are a new creation.  As 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.  The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”  Galatians 2:20 tells us that we are a new creation because “I have been crucified with Christ and no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” 
 
Knowing your identity in Christ gives you purpose, because it prompts you to follow Christ’s leading in your life.  We can know what that leading is by reading the Bible and applying what we read to our lives.  I encourage you to dig into the Bible for yourself, find verses that show you your identity in Christ, like the ones above, read about how God wants you to live as His child, and follow what He says.
 
I know that following God isn’t always easy.  If you have any questions about the next steps for you, or want to talk through some things, please email me at

jessica@toddbecker.org


11/04/2017
Anonymous:

Thanks Matt
 


11/03/2017
tbfmatt:
to anonymous who has a lot of questions about life from Pierce.

I'm not Keith, but i do know a thing or two about being confused about what life is all about. The meaning of life and finding our purpose can be found in the Bible, and this might seem like a long answer, but please read on. Just know that these things I am telling you will help you to understand what the ultimate meaning of life is. 

If you haven't ever heard of Adam and Eve, the first man and first woman, I will tell you about them briefly. God created them to live on earth and worship Him and take care of the earth. Soon after they were created, however, they disobeyed God and ate fruit from a tree that He had instructed them not to eat from (Genesis Chapter 3). This disobedience is called sin. Sin separates man and woman from God. We today have this same "original sin" as it is called, and are no longer holy in God's eyes (Romans 5:12-21). The problem with this sin is that we can no longer spend eternity with God because of this separation. God requires us to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 15-16). In fact, God's word says that because of our sin, after we die we are destined for an eternity in hell (Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death…" and 2 Peter 2:4). 

I know by now you might be asking yourself "What does this have to do with the meaning of life?" Just hold on, keep reading, and let me explain further. 

This sin issue leaves us helpless on our own, because there is nothing we can do to rid ourselves of sin. If the wages of sin is death as Romans 6:23 says, then we have to pay the penalty for our sin, right? Yes, but there is a way out, keep reading. God's word says in Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." Jesus Christ came to this earth and died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin (1 Peter 3:18 "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God."). Now, this is good stuff, but if you live your life and say, "Awesome, Jesus died for me, I'm good now!" and continue to live your life in sin and rebellion to God, you will not be saved from eternity in hell! God's word says in Romans 6:1-2 "What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" 

The Bible outlines in Romans 10:9-11,13 how one may come to surrender their life to Jesus Christ. I encourage you to read through the scriptures I have mentioned and examine your life. Ask yourself, "Do I have Jesus In my life? Am I following after Jesus? Am I continually cussing and doing bad stuff even though I know its wrong?" If your not following Jesus, I would encourage you to surrender your life to Jesus today. Jesus will change your life if you listen to him in prayer and reading the bible.

The reason I have spent so much time on this subject is because that's it. Jesus, He is the meaning in this life. Paul said in Philippians 3:7-9  I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done.  Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ  and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith." Our purpose in this life is to glorify and honor God and live our lives surrendered to Him alone. Through Him is found true purpose, direction, meaning, and hope. Nothing in this world will satisfy you, only Jesus can do that. 

I believe that the above paragraphs answer your other question; God does care for you, He does like you. He sent His son to die on the cross for your sins. 

 You have lots of questions which is great! If you have anymore i'd like to talk with you more directly!

Please send me an email and i'd love to anwser anymore questions you may have!

Matt@toddbecker.org



 


11/03/2017
Anonymous:

I'm lost and can't find God. I've searched, but I don't know Him like I used to. I try to pray but it just feels empty. 

11/03/2017
Anonymous:

I don't know who I am anymore. How do I find myself?

11/03/2017
Anonymous:

Can someone just answer your questions from below

11/03/2017
Anonymous:

the same kid as before right now can i have todd answer please I feel like a mess and i want someone who has probably expierenced this in they're life.

11/02/2017
Anonymous:

From the person before it is that same kid i also have issues where i get depressed and i just want to leave the world but then i feel bad for that because i dont want my family to be hurt so what can i do to calm myself to the level back to the beggining of the day where i feel fresh and feel i accomplished something instead of why did i do that that was dumb what to do now. I ussually pray about it but i know i have to work to find the answer to but i tried and tried and tried but i could't find it.

11/02/2017
Anonymous:

I have a great family and home but i have a question about that I have had the freat life of me unfold three weeks ago but it still gets brought up me and my brother got caught with a pair of shoes that i was returning but they got caught in my possesion and i got in bigger trouble than my brother when he was the one who stole them. Why do we get into the spots we do over all when you just want to do the right thing like i wanted I went to the narrow path in pierce but i fell short that night of giving my life to god to because i swore but i prayed so would that make that not a sin also back to the shoes why did God really basically put me in the spot of the moment when it could have been my brother

11/02/2017
tbfjessica:
To Anonymous who wonders if she's a sinner for touching her boyfriend,

First, I want to commend you for seeking an answer for your question.  I know asking tough questions can be difficult, and I want to encourage you to always ask your questions because that's how you will learn in life.

Now to address your question, is it a sin to touch your boyfriend if you don't have sex with him?  To answer this, I'd like to look at the what God tells us in His word, the Bible.  In Galations 5:19, there's a list of things we do when we follow our sinful nature.  It reads, "When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures."  That list goes on for a couple verses, but I'd like to focus on these three actions listed first.  Sexual immorality and impurity are very broad topics that we mostly apply to sex before marriage, but they also include having impure thoughts toward someone else and acting on those thoughts.  Lustful pleasures is more specific and applies directly to your question.  When you touch your boyfriend, you are trying to satisfy your sexual temptation, your lust, toward your boyfriend.  We see here that lustful pleasures is listed as a sin, and because of it, we see in verse 21 that you can't inherit the kingdom of God.  So, to answer you question, it is a sin to touch you boyfriend, even if you don't have sex with him.

If we dig more into what the Bible say on this topic, we find 1 Corinthians 6:18.  This verse tells us to, "run from sexual sin!  No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does.  For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."  From this verse, you can see why sexual immorality is so bad, because it affects your own body, and you are told what to do about it.  You need to run from it.

How do you do that?  The first step is to confess your sin to God.  1 John 1:9 says, "But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."  If we confess our sin, we can trust that God will forgive us for it and help us turn from it.  Philippians 2:13 tells us, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him."  Ask God for the desire and power to turn from your sexual sin, and you can be sure He will provide it.  

The next step is to recognize sexual influences that encourage your temptation.  This may be music you listen to, movies you watch, profiles you follow on social media, friends, or even your boyfriend.  In order for God to give you the desire to turn from your sexual sin, you must get rid of things that fuel your desire for sex.  Now, this might mean having a serious conversation with your boyfriend, possibly breaking up with him, I don't know.  You will need to pray and ask God to show you what you need to do. 

Lastly, ask for help!  Go to a trusted Christian adult and tell them your situation.  Ask them to pray with you as you figure out what the next steps are. James 5:16 says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results."  With another person walking you through this, you will have encouragement and prayer to help you take the next steps. 

I will pray for you as well, that God clearly shows you what you need to do next!  If you have any more questions, or need any encouragement, please email me at

jessica@toddbecker.org


10/28/2017
tbfalayna:

Dear anonymous who wants to make Jesus the center and anonymous trying to break bad habits,

I'm so glad you both are reaching out - looking for ways to change your life to honor the Lord on the narrow road!

From what it sounds like, you both have accepted that Jesus conquered sin that leads to death when he died on the cross. I want to encourage you to continue to examine your faith. If Jesus really is Lord (ruler, commander) of you life that means what He says, you follow, out of love for and dedication to him.

Even though we desire to do what is right, we will still be tempted into sin. Romans 7:14-25 shows the constant battle within us. v.18: "And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can't." Trying harder will only leave you frustrated. Only in RELYING on his strength and guidance will you keep him at the center and conquer bad habits.
2 Corinthians 12:10b says, "..For when I am weak, then I am strong"

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness". Repenting is sincere about turning from whatever pulled you away from him. When you pray, confess that and he will forgive.

You might be asking, "but how is that practical?"
My greatest and simplest advice to you:
Spend time with Jesus
2. Read The Word
3. Talk to him in prayer
4. Purposefully hang around people who want to keep him as Ruler, too! (go to church and youth group)

Colossians 2:7 says, "Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."
The more time you spend reading the Bible, the more you will see how God wants to lead you. You will learn to love all that Jesus is about. Just like any relationship on earth, only through spending time with that person will you get to understand who they are and what they desire.

Philippians 2:13: For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Again, I'm glad you reached out! It shows that God is knocking on your heart and calling for more. I pray this was helpful. Please email me if you have any more questions!

alayna@toddbecker.org
 


10/28/2017
tbfcarter:
To Anonymous whose mom has cancer.  First of all I'd like to thank you for reaching out to us. Second, I am sorry to hear about your mom having cancer. It is a very serious and scary thing to be going through. However, death is all around. I haven't lost a close loved one yet, but I know death happens.  To start of with, I think it is important for you to know where death comes from. I want you to look at Romans 5:12 It says. "When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned." So if you do not know, Adam was the first person God created. When God created Adam he gave him one rule, that rule is found in Genesis 2:16-17.  "But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” Adam indeed up breaking Gods law and eating from the tree, When he did that he sinned. When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. In Romans 3:23 it says "For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard."  Now it says all of us have sinned, that all of us have fallen short. Not just some, or one person. But all are guilty of breaking Gods laws. That includes you and me.  There are consequences for are sins and it is explained in the first half of Romans 6:23 it says. "For the wages of sin is death." A wage is something we deserve. When it says death, it is not just talking about physical death but spiritual death as well. And this is a very serious and scary thing because if you are spiritually dead that means you will go to Hell when you die.  In the second part of Romans 6:23 it says this, "but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." So there is a free gift, something we don't deserve. That free gift is Jesus, It says in John 3:16. “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." Jesus came and lived a perfect life without sin. Then he died on the cross for our sins and rose from the dead. This means that we don't have to have eternal death, but we can have eternal life if we believe in Him. The way we can receive this gift is by doing what Romans 10:9 says, "If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved."  It is by believing in your heart and declaring that Jesus is Lord that you can have eternal life. You see this is the Hope that we have. Even if your mom dies of cancer tomorrow or dies in 50 years the reality of death will happen to her and also yourself. Therefore, it is crucial that you both make Jesus the Lord of your life's. And in this you will have the Hope of eternal life with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  If you have any questions on anything, please feel free to email me at carter@toddbecker.org

10/27/2017
Anonymous:

Im I a sinner if I have touched my boyfriend but haven't had sex with him?

10/27/2017
Anonymous:

How do I make Jesus the center of my life?

10/26/2017
Anonymous:

I need help. So I'm a Christian and need help breaking my habits, Cussing, using the Lord's name in vain, etc. And I don't know how to stop. It just comes out sometimes. Any advice?

10/26/2017
Anonymous:

This is a statement to Keith not a question but thank you for having me in Pierce Ne it was really inspiring to see a life unfold and be put back together because God works like that. 

10/26/2017
Anonymous:

To also add to the adolescents one its the same person talking but why do people despise of homeless people but when somone helps them then that person might also get made fun of. So what im saing is that is it a societal issue or would it be just because people want to help but they dont have courage?

10/26/2017
Anonymous:

Why do you think when adolescents make actions that can kill or cause serious injury do parents want to cover them because the law can punish them but God can forgive them but then are the parents also making a sin to because they want to protect their child? Also to add to that in society people are poor, rich, and average so why do people whom are poor or average when their parents try to cover for them the judge still says guilty and then when the rich family whom has a kid kills somone their parents cover and they only get probation.

10/26/2017
Anonymous:

So my mom has cancer and has for a 1year and I am just lost and don't know what to do. Bc times r hard and there only getting harder there are some night I get 20min of sleep bc I wonder if my mom will be alive the next day.

10/26/2017
tbfalayna:
To anonymous who's wondering if they'll see their father again,

I'm so sorry that your dad died when you were that young, and I'm sure it has raised many questions as you've grown up, about what happens when we die. I'm glad you reached out.

In Romans 6:23 in says, "For the wages (what we deserve) for sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."

This shows that if you choose to live a sinful life, God will judge you according to his standard of perfection (1 Peter 1:16). Everyone will have to stand before God and answer to what we've done. (Romans 14:12)

But the good news is, "But to all who believed him and accepted him (Jesus), he gave the right to become children of God. -John 1:12)
This means that if we trust what Jesus did and choose to follow him with our life, we will have eternal life in heaven.

Thinking about your own life, can you see where your life is - either following God or living your own way? John 1:12 says that "all" who believed him can become children of God. That can give you peace and no doubt that whoever believes can spend eternity with God. 

I see that this is so hard. To answer your question: yes, God does forgive us through our trust and following Jesus. Ultimately, you can only answer these questions for your own life. While you cannot understand why your father's death happened when it did, God will comfort you and give you peace through it. (Matthew 11:28, Romans 8:1&2).

Stay connected to God through praying and reading his word. These two things will guide you as you make decisions about your own life. Again, I'm glad you reached out and please email me with any more questions!

alayna@toddbecker.org


10/20/2017
tbfalayna:
To anonymous who's parents are getting divorced,

I'm glad you're reaching out during this dark time, it shows that you have a strong desire to know God and be close to him. Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." God cares deeply for all the corners of your life - whether you're celebrating or enduring the hard times. Be honest with him when you talk to him in prayer, that shows that you have a genuine relationship.

Even though you might feel "too far lost", know that God is never far away and will never leave.(Acts 17:27 : "His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him-though he is not far from any one of us.") Isaiah 43:2 also shows that when dark times come, they will not overwhelm and consume you.

When things like divorce happen, great pain and brokenness is left. If you have trusted in Jesus to save you for eternity, you can also have hope in every day that he will provide healing for the broken hurts (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 147:3, Matthew 11:28-30).

Building a stronger relationship with God is something you should continually seek through all circumstances in life! Just like any strong relationship here on Earth: communication, time, love, and respect are key elements in your relationship with God.
- Talk with him in prayer with an honest heart.
- Spend time getting to know him by reading the Bible - His Word!
- As you grow in your knowledge of him, you will grow in love for Him, and lastly, respect his leading and authority in your life by honoring him with your choices.

Always seek advice from trusted, Christian mentors and adults - they will help you walk through this. If you have any thoughts about what I mentioned please don't hesitate to email me at

alayna@toddbecker.org
 


10/19/2017