Anonymous Answers


Life's tough, it's not easy. This is the place where you can ask us any question, get anything off your mind and tell us your story. We'll do our best to respond quickly.

Want to read questions that others have asked in the past? And our responses to those questions?

Click here to read past questions & answers!



tbfbecca:
To Anonymous asking prayer for family friend:

I got your message early this morning, and prayed for your friend Steve several times this morning! I'm so sorry to hear that he is not doing well. I am so glad that your family is there being a light to him and to all those around you.  Keep being a light even when it seems so dark.  Please know that you are in my prayers! So encouraged to hear of your heart for your friend, Steve, and your passion for the Gospel! If you need anything else, please feel free to email me at becca@toddbecker.org


06/07/2018
Anonymous:

A family friend is currently in the hospital, it isn't looking like he is going to make it through the night. I prayed for him and his wife. This man hasn't been saved yet, but my parents talk to him about God's salvation. We could tell that the holy spirit was working on him, but as of right now, he doesn't believe that he is worth saving. And with this possibly being his last night, his family and mine need strength to help him see that God's love isn't limited. So I ask for prayers also. The man's name is Steve.

06/06/2018
tbfalayna:
To anonymous who isn’t sure about eternity,

I’m so glad you’re wrestling with this big question because it is the most important thing you’ll decide on! Once you know for sure, you will be able to walk in confidence and freedom knowing Jesus is the only one that saves you and it’s nothing you can work at to get to heaven.

Check out Ephesians 2:8-10, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God” (v8). Was there ever a time in your life WHEN you believed and trusted that Jesus is “the Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6)? When you invite God to rule and lead your life, you can know that he will keep you secure! (1 Corinthians 1:8)

You might feel like you need to DO something, or just try your hardest to be a good person, but in Romans 5:8 it says that “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." 
 The Bible also tells us in Acts 2:38 that we must "Repent of our sins and turn to God..."

Jesus paid for our sins by dying on the cross so that we don't have to spend eternity in hell. But we must repent of our sins and totally turn to Jesus.

When you have trusted Jesus to save you and guide your life, you have God’s spirit in you working in you “giving you the desire and power to do what pleases him.” (Philippians 2:13).

Pray and ask Him to come in and change your heart. Keep pursuing Him and digging into the truth of the Bible!

If you have any other questions, please shoot me an email at

alayna@toddbecker.org


05/03/2018
Anonymous:

I don’t know where I’m going when I die. I really do want to go to heaven. How do I find out where I’m going FOR SURE? I want to be able to say I’m going to heaven with confidence, and know that’s where I’ll be when I die.

05/03/2018
tbfjessica:
To Anonymous getting pulled into arguments and getting bullied,

First, I want to say thank you for asking your questions! It can be nerve-racking to dive into deep subjects like this, and I am proud of you for reaching out for help.

So let's dive in.  Addressing your first question, I want to acknowledge that this is a difficult situation to be in.  No one ever wants to be pulled into someone else's fight, especially when the people arguing are adults.  I'm going to be honest with you and say that I don't have a lot of experience with this, so I am going to offer you the only thing that can help: God's word.

In many areas, the Bible talks about arguing and what you should do about it.  In 2 Timothy 2:24, we are told "a servant of the LORD must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people."  Later, in Titus 3:2, we are again told "[believers] must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling.  Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone."  Then again in James 3:17,18 we are reminded to be peaceful as it says, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure.  It is also peace-loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yeild to others.  It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds.  It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.  And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness."  In all three verses, the concept of avoiding arguements and maintaining peace is repeated.  

Now, I understand that sometmes you can't help it and you are dragged into the argument unwillingly.  In such cases, I want to emphasize the places in those verses where is says "be patient with difficult people," "be gentle," and "shows no favoritism."  When you are dragged into an arguement, don't take a side.  My advice would be to, first of all, pray for your grandparents, that they would reach an understanding or that they would drop the subject of their argument and move on, and secondly to act as the peacemaker.  Do your best to gently find common ground where they can mutually see where each are right and where each has faulted.  If you can help calm them down to a place where they start listening to understand each other rather than listening to form a reply, the argument might actually end in progress instead of regret!  I know that this is easier said than done, but we are called, as Christians, to be examples of Christ and do as He commands, even if it's hard.  So pray!  God understands that it's difficult for you, so ask Him for help!  Ask Him for wisdom to know what to do and for the courage to do it, then trust that He'll give you both.  He promises in James 1:5,6 that if we ask for wisdom and trust unwaveringly that He will give it, then He will!  So trust in that promise and act on it.

As for your second question, I think it's important to get perspective.  Now, I understand that this can be hard to do when you're the one getting bullied, but try to take yourself out of the situation and put yourself in the bully's shoes.  Is there something going on in their life causing them to lash out at you?  Do they have an unstable home or unhealthy family relationships?  Are they jealous of something you have that they don't?  Whatever the case may be, always remember that there is an underlying reason from their life as to why they are bullying, no matter how "put together" they try to make thier life look.

So again, I encourage you to pray.  Matthew 5:44 records Jesus telling us to "love your enemies!  And pray for those who persecute you."  I was once told that you can never be mad at someone you're praying for, and that is very true.  Once you start praying for the bully, you'll find that you start to hope God will change their life.  Pray for a better home situation for them, or that they'll find something else to occupy their time, or that they'll see how they're hurting you and they'll stop.  And always remain kind to them.  In Romans 12:19-21, we are told to "never take revenge.  Leave that to the righteous anger of God.  For the Scriptures say, 'I will take revenge; I will pay them back,' says the LORD.  Instead, 'If your enemies are hungry, feed them.  If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.'  Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good."  Always strive to be an example of Christ to others, and the best way to do that is to set yourself apart in how you treat people, especially those who treat you wrongly.  Remind kind, and let God take care of them.

So, to wrap this up, your next steps are to pray for your grandparents and the person bullying you, and pray for help in each situation.  Then trust that God will give you the wisdom, courage, and kindness that you ask for!

I hope this helps you in your difficult situations.  If you have any more questions, or want to talk about this further, please email me at

jessica@toddbecker.org


04/27/2018
Anonymous:

So I have a couple questions 
  1. What should I do if my grandparents get into arguements and pull me into the middle of the fights?
  2. What should I do if I get bullied in school?


04/27/2018
tbfalayna:
To anonymous who’s really tempted,

It sounds like you’re facing a big battle right now, and I’m happy you reached out. It’s hard to struggle with thoughts and temptations that always seem to come up! Can I ask you a key question: have you let God take the lead in your life? Have you surrendered every area of your life to how he wants to guide you?

The Bible says in Philippians 2:13, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “the temptations in your life are no different than what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

If you’ve given God the leading position in your life, THAT relationship with him will help you see what to do in every struggle and temptation. Temptations will still come, but the important thing is how you choose to react? Do you let your “sinful nature” win, or does God’s “spirit” working in you win the battle?  (Please check out Galatians 5:16-26!)

I’ll leave you with one more thing: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by CHANGING the way you think.” (Romans 12:2) A lot of things in the world will tell you what you should think and even make crude jokes about these kind of temptations and relationships. Pursue what God says, and you will win the battles in your mind! You have His power in you work

I’d love to talk more if you have any other questions!

Please email me at:
alayna@toddbecker.org


 


04/26/2018
Anonymous:

So I am a 15 year old girl. I have a boyfriend that lives in California and is also 15, but I have this issue with... finding interest in older men. Not too old, of course, but too old for the age that I am. What do I do to not be tempted anymore? Because I have no idea what I am doing with my life at the point that I am now. And I know it's wrong of me to have these feelings for these men, but I can't help it. What do I do?

04/26/2018
tbfjoana:
To the anonymous who wants to find purpose in life,

         Thank you so much for reaching out to us. We all want to find our purpose in life if we don’t have one than why are we living it. The meaning and purpose of life can be found in the bible. The reason there is hate, hurth, and death in the world is because of sin. Man disobeyed God by eating the forbidden fruit (Genesis 2) by us doing that, sin entered the world. Sin as  ( Galatians 5: 19-21) explains, it separates us and stops us from truly knowing our purpose in life which is God.

          The sin issue leaves us helpless on ourselves, because their is nothing we can do to rid ourselves of sin. If the wages of sin is death as Romans 6:23 says, then we have to pay the penalty for our sin, right? Yes, but there is a way out, keep reading. God's word says in Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."Jesus Christ came to this earth and died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin (1 Peter 3:18 "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous and for the unrighteous, to bring you to God."). He died for us sins to  save us, to clean us from our sins, and to make us free from sin. So we can no longer be separated from eternal life (Heaven) and we do not end up in death ( hell). We choose to to either follow Christ or not, He has made us free by dying on the cross but that does not mean we can keep on sinning. Romans 6:1-2 "What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Paul said in Philippians 3:7-9 "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..." Our purpose in this life is to glorify and honor God and live our lives surrendered to Him alone.  We can try and look for purpose in money, material items, and in a girlfriend or boyfriend. But only through Him we can find true purpose, direction, meaning, and hope. Nothing in this world will satisfy you, only Jesus can do that.

         I ask of you to inspect your life, do you live for Jesus, is it in Him that you are looking for your purpose. Or are you looking for purpose in life to only satisfy yourself, to make yourself feel happy and worthy.

        I really hope this has helped answer your question. If you have any more questions or would like to talk more in depth you can email me at:

joana@toddbecker.org
 


04/21/2018
Anonymous:

How do I find my purpose in iife?

04/20/2018
tbfbruce:

To the person who has a friend doing drugs and is getting pulled in.

If you care about this friend, then you should care enough about their life to save it if you can. If you would consider this: Try to think about a burning building and your friend is inside of it. They might not think any harm will come to them. They think all is well. But in truth they are in grave danger. I have never in my life heard of ANYTHING GOOD coming from a life of drugs. It doesn’t make them better, doesn't make them stronger, doesn’t make them wiser. In fact, it only does the opposite. Mostly it just destroys their life and leaves them dumped into the darkest places ever. And if you go with your friend down this path, it will be the same for you. That should scare you. This sounds harsh, but your safety dictates a breaking off of your friendship or at least bringing in some quality help. You have to do what is right. There are many places where your friend can get help. It is my suggestion that you include some adults whom you can trust to help make some of those connections.
Talk with a pastor, youth pastor, or school counselor – someone who has the ability to direct you where help can be provided for your friend. In our assembly, we tell of Todd, making choices as he left the “Narrow Road”. Your friend is making choices as well. Using Drugs makes us pull away from people and help, like our community or families. But Help can be found, if we are willing to look or ask for it.

7 Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened to you.
8 For each one who asks receives; and he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, it shall be opened.
9 Or what man is there of you, if his son asks a loaf, will he give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks a fish, will he give him a snake?
11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father in Heaven give good things to those who ask Him? Matthew 7:7-12


God the Father LOVES to bring life in the face of Death, He loves to Save, He loves to Rescue. Its so much easier to fight when we have the Power of a Resurrected Christ working in our lives. I don’t know if you have asked Him to help you, but you need to know that you can. He is waiting for you to ask Him to help.

If you have any further questions, or would like to contact me directly, please email me at bruce@toddbecker.org.
 


04/15/2018
Anonymous:

I have a friend that has being doing drugs and they keep trying to pull me with them. How could I get out of this? 

04/14/2018
tbfalayna:
To anonymous who liked our assembly in Waverly-South Shore, our team is really glad you liked the assembly. I hope it was impactful for you and the whole school!  If you have any specific questions feel free to email any of us, my email address is:

alayna@toddbecker.org


04/12/2018
Anonymous:

Hello this is a student at the assembly April 11 in Waverly South Shore and i would like to say that i really like the assembly. 

04/12/2018
tbfalayna:

To anonymous feeling like a mistake,
 
I’m so sorry you’re facing such a hard time, but am glad you have reached out for help and guidance.  As a daughter, I can see the deep desires of your heart and feel much of the same things. Know that you’re not alone and you are not a mistake! It sounds like you’re working really hard to do the right things and “be a good person/daughter” to earn God’s trust and your mom’s approval.  God doesn’t want us to work, earn, do, or try.
  • Galatians 2:15 says “that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law.”
  • Micah 6:8 says, “O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”
God sees your hurt and desires to serve him. He is all knowing and created you for his purposes. Luke 12:6&7 compare our worth as humans to sparrows. It says, “What is the price of five sparrows- two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”  There is nothing you can do or fail to do that would make God love you and know you less.
 
John 1:12 says, “But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” As a child of God, your overarching identity is that. It’s impossible to please everyone, as you seek to honor God and live as his child, He will help you in your relationship with your mom! Again, I have a very similar temptation to please people and one thing that has encouraged me is to think about is: making decisions imagining God was the only one in the audience of life.  I want to encourage you to read your Bible (check out Romans chapter 7 & 8) and ask God to forgive your mistakes and guide you! He will.
 
I hope this has encouraged and helped you. I would love to have a conversation, and answer any more questions that you’re wrestling with.

Email me at:
 
alayna@toddbecker.org


04/06/2018
Anonymous:

I just want to make my mother proud, but I just keep making mistakes. I feel like that if my mom can't forget about my mistakes, then God can't either. How can I earn my mother's trust and God's at the same time?? I feel like they don't want me, and I am a mistake. I just want to be called my mother's daughter, and have her be proud of it. 

04/05/2018
tbfjoana:
To the anonymous who recenltly experience a loss, 

 I would like to start by saying I am so sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you. Personally I don't know from experience about having in laws but I can share the biblical truth about this situation. I am sorry your in this situation with your in laws, but Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you”. Now I am not sure if you are a Christian or not and I am not sure if your in laws are either. But I can say that the bible says to forgive one another just as God has forgiven us. A question I would like you to ask yourself is, how do I treat my in laws? The same way they treat me or differently? I can say that it is healthy to have boundaries in your life with people who are verbally abusive. You can nicely let them know that what they are saying is untrue and hurtful. And you have to choose not to believe what they say about you. Also I would not suggest to cut yourself off from your inlaws, but you can be careful what you share with  them, since you can’t trust them. Psalm 118:8 says, It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans”. People fail and hurt us but the Lord never does! In regards of your question about your children and in laws relationship, I realize you do not trust your in laws so I would suggest not leave your children alone with them. But do not cut them off from your kids since they will be their family. Again I cannot relate to your situation but I can share with you what the bible teaches us about relationships with the world and with God. How is your relationship with the Lord? Do you have a relationship with Him? There are two different roads you can take, which one are you on? Matthew 7: 13-14 explains, 13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. 14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. I would encourage you inspect your life and see which road your life is on.
I really hope this answers your questions. If you have anymore or would like to talk to someone. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me!  You can email me at

joana@toddbecker.org
 


04/01/2018
Anonymous:

I guess I just need someone to vent to but I can't so here goes. I recently had a miscarriage and my In-laws called a lot of people and told them I faked It and said a lot of other horrible things. I'm just sick of them.  This isn't the first time they have been horrible but this was definitely one of the worst. How do I have a relationship with them and when I do have children, is it bad to keep them away from my children?

03/31/2018
tbfalex:
To Anonymous who had a bad night,

First of all, thank you for reaching out to us in this time of fear. I am sorry that you are having to go through this, but I can tell you that there is hope!

One verse I want to share with you is Ephesians 6:1, "Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do." And then it goes on in verse 4 to say, "Father's, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." 

Both of these verses have two small but extremely important phrases in them. Notice why we are supposed to honor our parents. Because we "belong to the Lord." Then notice how parents are supposed to raise up their children with discipline and instruction that "comes from the Lord." These two verses were written to family's who knew God. Therefore, the most important question to ask is, "Does my dad, my mom, my brother/other siblings, myself, and my entire family know God?" Because without knowing and following God, children will not understand why they need to obey their parents, and parents will not know how to raise up their children.

What does it even mean to "know God?" First of all, it means that you know that God is Holy. Holy means that God is sinless or set apart from sin. This means that it is absolutely impossible for Him to sin. However, because of Adam and Eve sinning in the Garden of Eden, we are all sinners. (Romans 5:12/Romans 3:23) And because we all sin, we all deserve to be punished and to be separated from God for eternity. But this is where God stepped into history as the person of Jesus because of His love for us! Jesus came to this earth, lived a sinless life, died on a cross, and then rose again from the dead three days later, so that we can be forgiven for our sins. (Romans 4:25/John 3:16) Now all God asks us to do is, "Repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away." (Acts 3:19) Repent means to turn away from our sins and to no longer do them. And then we must "openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead." (Romans 10:9)

With this all being said, these verses were obviously written because these families, who knew God, still had problems with getting along. No family is perfect, but God clearly wants to be at the center of every area of our lives, including our families. 

I would encourage you to first examine your own life, and make sure that you are truly following Jesus. Then I would immediately begin to pray for your family. Then I would make sure that your brother has forgiven your dad, and your dad has forgiven your brother. And finally I would have a time with your family to study this verse and talk about how you want to honor the Lord as a family. As I said, there is always hope when you know God! 

If you have any other questions, or have anything else I could help you answer, please contact me at alex@toddbecker.org


03/29/2018
Anonymous:

Tonight was a bad night... my brother and dad had been fighting for a while, and my brother finally pushed my dad over the edge. He got made and yelled at my brother to leave the house and it got scary for me being the younger sibling. My dad feels terrible for what happened, but was so frustrated. My brother says he is sorry because Friday is my birthday, and it's already been a bad week. My mother is having a hard time forgiving them because it reminds her of her childhood. I have already forgiven my father and brother. But I'm not sure when things will be okay again between all of us. I'm honestly scared that my father could have another heart attack, or our family is weird. I'm not sure how to out all my faith into God, and trust that he will make everything okay, if all of this could happen within one hour.

03/27/2018
tbfbruce:

To anonymous who plays football and soccer:
I'm not sure if you are a Christian or not, but I will answer your question as I would answer any team situation. If you are the captain of your team ,are you uniting your team to perform as one? Are you bringing them together as a unit? As one? I know your frustration is mostly disappointment with your own performance or lack thereof. But really, when you win, you win together. When you loose, you loose together. Did you give it your absolute best effort? You are healing from injuries and can't give it what you did last year. Did you give your best? In time, you will be able to give it more than you can do today, but today, did you give it your best and AS A TEAM encourage the best in and from everyone? I'm not a sports guy, but as a team member of TBF, we are a team. We work as a unit; we watch each others back; we are there for each other, win or loose; we are one force on the field of battle. We pray for one another; we root for one another; we work in the trenches side by side through training and teaching and coaching. Then, we hit the battlefield together. I look for moments when another team member needs a kind word or a reassurance. We encourage one another, and build one another up, just as the Bible tells us to do.
But really, you need to know there is One who is our captain – the One that we represent. He is really way better than any of us could ever be. We play for Him, for His Glory, for His will. You might consider His leadership as a way of your leadership position and skill. The Bible tells us in James chapter 1, verse 5, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” He will lead you in learning and leading as a great team captain. Just ask Him.
 If you have any further questions, or would like to contact me directly, please email me at bruce@toddbecker.org
 


03/25/2018
Anonymous:

So I play football (soccer) and have been injured for the majority of the season, with one major Achilles injury and a few knocks. Having only missed a couple of games despite these injuries, but missing a lot of training, I haven’t felt 100% all year. In game I’m struggling to play as well as I know I can, as last year my performances were incredible and they’re being compared to for this year. Im captain of the team and feel pressure to perform week in and out for my teammates who rely on me. I’m just currently frustrated with myself as I know what I want to do in my head, but my body isn’t allowing me to do it. Any advice on how I overcome this?

03/25/2018
tbfbecca:
To anonymous asking about how to join the Todd Becker Foundation:

For some reason, my link below didn't work. To find out more about the STINT internship, clikc on "main" at the top of this page, and you will see a box about the STINT internship. Click on that, and there will be all the information that you need!

Email me anytime if you have questions at becca@toddbecker.org


03/22/2018
tbfbecca:
To Anonymous that wants to know how to become a part of the Todd Becker Foundation:

Thank you so much for your question! We are honored that you are interested!

People join once they apply to our STINT internship, and are accepted. Not everyone is accepted, not because they are bad people, but because we try to discern from the Lord what would be a good fit for THEM and us. So, the first step is to click on this link: http://students.toddbecker.org/stint.php and follow the application process!

Hope that helps! :) Feel free to email me if you have more questions! becca@toddbecker.org


03/22/2018
Anonymous:

How do you become part of the Todd Becker foundation?

03/21/2018